


Resonance

by Himecchin



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: A lot of pain, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, F/F, Pain, Sex, Slow Romance, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Wheesa - Freeform, moonsun, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2019-11-15 19:28:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18079517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Himecchin/pseuds/Himecchin
Summary: In a world where all people are born with the name of their soulmate tattooed on the ring finger of their left hand, it's a common thing for everyone to leave home to seek them. Everything to do with love should be quite easy.Unfortunately, not for Wheein.





	1. The day she found it out (act. 1)

Wheein is 12 years old when her left ring finger starts to bleed for the first time ever.

She knows what that means, or at last, she thinks she knows; she read it in textbooks biology, in books, she’s even seen it in movies: the name of the person intended to her is appearing on her ring finger and one day, when they will meet, they will know that they are destined for each other.

When they will meet they feel a special connection, a unique bond, because of that mark on their flesh: in the books, the **_bond_** is always described as indissoluble and extraordinary, something to look forward to.

Wheein would like to rejoice or feel happy about it, but the hand hurts very bad; the ring finger itches and bleeds profusely, her pillow is stained by red.

It’s dark outside, and she is supposed to sleep and stay quiet, but she can’t help to steal out of her bed to lock herself into the bathroom. Sticking her left hand under the tap water, she tries to resist the pain, because her parents work the next day and she shouldn’t disturb them; she observes the water becoming red, vanishing down in the sink.

Books and movies didn’t tell her about this, but luckily Wheein is not a squeamish girl and the blood doesn’t shock her: it’s the pain the main problem. She cuts off the tap, admiring for a little time her ring finger _,_ clean and pale _._

Blood seems to have stopped, and Wheein can almost read the first syllable of the name, but the next minute the wound reopens and a twinge of pain makes her whimper.

Still undecided about what to do, she stands still and doesn’t cry in the silent room, but when the blood flows again and hits the floor she finally decides to run to her parent’s bedroom.

She just tries to be quiet, walking on tiptoe toward her mother side of the bed. She shakes her very slowly, carefully, but the woman doesn’t wake up at first.

“Mom”, she whispers, trying again.

This time, her mother stirs in the sleep, and opens an eye, surprised and confused: she blinks repeatedly, like she doesn't recognize her daughter at all.

“Wheein? What’s wrong?”, she asks, yawning.

“Mom…” Wheein whines, holding back tears. Maybe, she is a bit scared after all.

“Did you have a nightmare, sweetie?”

Wheein shakes her head firmly, trying to show to her mother her hand, the blood that keeps run down her finger, but her mother doesn’t show any sign of understanding. She just stares at her in the darkness, amazed, slightly irritated.

“My hand is bleeding, mom. My ring finger…”, she finally says, chewing her lips “It hurts”

Those are the magic words: her mother sits up all of a sudden, quickly turning on the light, and abruptly grabs her wrist. Wheein swallows a whimper, and tries to stay silent, like a good girl.

“What the hell?”, Wheein hears her father groan, rolling on the side and taking the blanket over his head.

Her mother doesn’t bother to speak, fully focused to analyze her left hand with all her care. She has a very stern look on her face, a disapproving frown that ruins her natural beauty.

She seems _tense_ , and Wheein doesn’t dare to point out that the blood is staining the sheets and the blanket at the same time.

“Mom?”, she calls out instead, a bit scared of her reaction, but the woman doesn’t move an inch “Mom?”

Her father snorts, emerging from his tangle of sheets, genuinely angry this time.

“What's so important it can't wait tomorrow?” he complains, throwing the blanket with a quick movement.

Her mother, like the man next to her had just awakened her from a sort of trance, stands up, ripping a piece of her nightdress and delicately wrapping it around Wheein’s hand.

“Don’t worry sweetie”, she says to her, smile reassuringly and ignoring her husband, “I give you something for the pain, ok? We get you patched up so you can return to sleep”

Wheein nods, staring at the white cloth that hides her hand. The pain is letting up, now that something is pushing on it.

“Want to explain?” her father asks after a while, but her mother just glances at him ferociously.

“Just get up off that bed and help me get some painkillers for your daughter!” she hisses, leaving the room, holding Wheein’s other hand, the right one.

The girl is confused, and a bit stunned by her mother behavior, but stays quiet as her mother bring her to the bathroom again and gently dresses her finger with cotton and antiseptic.

“Don’t worry”, her mother keeps repeat, giving her a glass of milk and one while pill, “Don’t worry about it”.

Wheein doesn’t worry, and that night sleeps in the bed with her parent just like when she was a baby, her father strangely calm and accommodating.

 

The following day Wheein doesn’t go to school.

She is happy, because she has a math test that her mother probably forgot, and she didn’t study for it very much.

Her mother wakes her up early, earlier than usual, and does not let her have breakfast like usual; she takes her to the doctor.

When they arrive no one is there yet, the waiting room is empty and silent.

The secretary, Ms Kim, is sitting at the desk, concentrated on some papers, when her mother closes the door: the woman raised her head, surprised.

“Miss Jung, we're not open yet” she says, smiling, but her mother doesn’t return the gesture, squeezing Wheein’s arm tighter.

“I know”, she states, walking to the desk, “but it’s urgent”

Ms Kim’s gaze lands on top of Wheein, and the girl smiles, unsure. She feels alright, after the pill that her mother gave her, and she doesn’t understand all the rush, they could've done breakfast at last.

“I am sure that…”, but then her mother raises Wheein’s hand, showing the bandage on her left ring finger as a matter of urgency, and the woman blenches, rising to her feet, her eyes wide open.

“I tell Doctor Lee you are here”, she says firmly, disappearing into the doctor room in hurry.

It’s Wheein’s first clue. She is young, not _dumb_.

“Mom?”, she whispers, searching her mother’s eyes with fear “what's going on? It’s a serious illness?”

“No sweetie, no”, her mother kneels down and takes Wheein’s hands between hers to reassure the girl “Doctor Lee is amazing, isn’t he? He just has to know your state of health, that's why we're here. No need to worry about it”

“It’s because of my soulmate?” she asks, hesitant.

Her mother opens her mouth, on the verge to say something, when Doctor Lee comes into the room, a reassuring smile on his face.

“We have a finger that hurts?” he asks, approaching them; her mother stands back up, bowing in respect, and Wheein lowers her eyes, shyly.

“Yes…” she mumbles, once she realizes that no one else has to answer besides her.

Doctor Lee smiles widens, at her words.

“Well, let's take a look at it then!”

They enter the doctor’s office in silence, leaving Ms Kim behind: the visit is short, Doctor Lee removes the bandage and disinfects the finger again, carefully, hurting her a bit; then he analyses it thoroughly with a strange device, cylindrical in shape. He takes photos, with that thing.

He talks a lot and asks questions, tons of questions, about school and other things and Wheein is not always sure how to answer. Her mother stays quiet the whole time.

“Wheein”, he says grabbing one cute band-aid with little butterflies drawn on it “have you ever heard of BCE?”

Wheein shakes her head, still on the doctor’s couch, her feet dangling.

“It is an abbreviation. It stands for “Broken Connection Entity”, Doctor Lee explains, wrapping a new gauze around her finger. Ms Kim enters shortly after, some papers behind her back. She nods, signaling something to the doctor, and gives to her mother a paper.

“It’s…it’s a bad thing?”

There's a reverential silence, for a moment, and Wheein feels a chill crawl up her spine.

“It’s a…a bit complicated, Wheein” he says, still smiling a bit “They explained to you about soulmates at school, right?”

She nods.

“Usually, you could see the name of your soulmate at 14, but you already have it. The name is appearing on your skin, that's why you feel the pain. It's like a wound, ok? The wound won't heal. It just keeps opening up. Bleeds out and stings”

“Why?”

He pauses briefly before choosing to sit next to her, on the bed; that makes Wheein a little squirmy.

“Because…because somewhere, the person intended to you doesn’t have your name on her ring finger. And your finger suffers from this fact, and bleeds out. Can you understand what I’m saying to you?”

Wheein stares at her finger really hard, focusing on the colourful butterflies. She understands perfectly. Her soulmate doesn’t _want_ her.

“It’s not your fault Wheein, it's nobody's fault. Sometimes it happens, and everything works out. You'll get your painkillers, and it'll hurt less in time. Also the bleeding will decrease gradually”

“But it cannot heal properly, right?” she whispers, clenching her fist; she can feel the blood goes out again, staining the plaster. It’s cold.

The doctor takes her left hand gently, and Wheein automatically holds out her fingers, holding her breath.

“Everything is going to be alright Wheein” Doctor Lee says, but this time Wheein can see her mother try to hold back the tears and she clearly understands that's not going to be _alright._

####  **Name:** Jung, Whee-in   
**Born:** April 17, 1995  
**Height:** 159,9   
**Broken Connection Entity:** Hye jin (혜진)


	2. The day she found it out (act. 2)

Many things changed after that day.  
First of all, her mother quits her job and starts teaching her at home.  
Wheein doesn’t ask why, _she’s afraid to ask why_ , but, after all, she likes to stay at home, waking up and having her breakfast in peace.  
She and her mother spend their mornings on the books, and then they learn things: Wheein is smart, thirsty for knowledge, and loves study. Art is her favorite subject, she’d like to be a painter someday. After lunch, Wheein usually plays at home, alone; she doesn't see her friends anymore, but she tries not to think about it: she still has her videogames though, and her parents. She still goes to her singing lessons, and her teacher adores her, throwing out compliments all the time. She doesn't get lonely.  
Being a BCE doesn’t seem to affect her life very much; her little finger still aches and bleeds out, but Wheein can recognize her pills in the bathroom drawer, and she can change the bandage and the plaster without any sort of problem.  
Doctor Lee calls her often, asking about her life: he is like a friend now, sometimes her mother even invites him over for dinner and they talk about books and videogames. Her father works a lot, sometimes he's gone for days, but he always brings good presents when he comes back.  
It all looks the same.  
It’s spring when Wheein realizes that something has actually changed.  
She's sitting in the courtyard with snacks, and she is watching the sunset with Ggomo. Yes, the second crucial change in her life, is Ggomo: her mother got her a cat, a little ball of fur that runs after her all the time, making her smile. Ggomo is her best friend by now.  
The cat yawns next to her, stretches, then jumps into her laps, purring loudly.  
“I love you, you know?” she says, giving it a kiss.  
At the very same moment, something hits her in the forehead.  
Wheein raises her head, surprised, touching automatically her forehead.  
The pebble rolls on the lawn, in silence.  
“Hey, you!”, someone says.   
Wheein stands up, exploring with her eyes the garden, but there is no one; Ggomo runs away, annoyed. It was a male voice.  
“I'm up here!”, and Wheein raises her head, finally spotting him. The boy is sitting on the balcony, a smirk on his face. He's the neighbour kid, but they never spoke to each other: he's older than Wheein, and has a reputation for being bossy. Wheein thinks his name is Ji-yong or something like that, but she's not sure so she doesn’t say anything. She just looks at him, hesitant.  
What does that boy want?  
“You’re Jung Wheein, right?” he asks, without introducing himself. He has a sort of ugly, nasty voice and all her senses tell her to go away from his annoying grin, but it would be rude. So, she just nods, avoiding eyes contact.  
“Everybody at school is saying that you are dead” he exclaims laughing, like he’s saying something funny.  
Wheein stares at him for a minute, shocked. He looks well pleased with himself.  
What?  
She left school, but…dead? No way.  
“But I know the truth. Your mom confided in my mom” he states, almost solemnly “you're one of those disgusting BCE. You will die sad and alone!”  
Wheein freezes, not knowing what to say.  
The name imprinted on her finger still bleeds, and sometimes gets infected, but she tries very hard not to think what the implications of that will be in her future.  
**“Hyejin”,** it says.  
She doesn’t know any Hyejin, but this girl decided to break off their bond without thinking about her: Wheein would like to ask her _why_ , she didn't do anything wrong, but she can’t. This girl has probably another name tattooed on her left ring finger, another soulmate, and they will never meet. Even if they do, by accident, they will not recognize themselves as soulmates.  
There is nothing left for her.  
Her soulmate didn’t want her, and her finger won't ever heal properly _, but…_  
“I’m not disgusting”, she says, trying not to cry.  
The boy shows no reaction, but he's clearly enjoying this.  
“But you’re a BCE. BCE should not exist in the world, they are mistakes. You’re a mistake. Are you so dumb that you cannot see it?”  
Wheein feels tears fall on her cheeks, but she doesn’t lower her gaze.  
“I’m not a mistake”  
“Yes, you are. BCE are against nature!”, he shouts at her, his eyes wide open “I'll tell everyone at school, and they will agree with me” and he, suddenly, throws at her a bunch of pebbles.  
It happens so fast, too fast, and Wheein doesn't really have time to react: she feels the pebbles, small and sharp, hit her, but the pain is the least of her concerns.  
She's humiliated, and scared. Her salty tears do scold like molten lead on her cheeks.  
She runs at home in no time, within the walls of her house, but her body doesn’t stop shaking. Ggomo rushes to her, meowing loudly, and Wheein embraces the cat, trying to calm down.   
She is not disgusting.  
_She is not, right?_  
Wheein feels her knees giving out, her body getting weaker and weaker; she sits down on the cold dank floor, crying desperately for the first time.  
Why does God hate her so much?  
Doesn't she deserve happiness like everybody else? Maybe not.  
That doubt gets inside her, silently.  
“I’m not disgusting, right?”, she whispers, scared, biting her lower lip,  
Ggomo purrs, in an attempt to cheer her up and she smiles, through her tears, but something inside her cracks.  
From that day, Wheein stops playing in the garden.

It’s her fault, All her fault.  
Wheein knows it, _she is well aware of it,_ but she can't do anything to change the situation.  
Her parents are fighting. They fight all the time, about everything and nothing.  
Her father is often away on business, but when he's home…the mood is always dark and tense. Everything can be a trigger lately.  
Wheein is not supposed to be awake at that very moment, but her sleep schedule is so messed up these days. She stopped going out after studying, scared of people's judgement, and she spends her days in front of the tv: she falls asleep on the couch a lot, and can’t sleep at night. Every time she closes her eyes she can still see the face of that boy, his smug grin, and it makes her sick.  
Wide awake and fully alert, Wheein’s listening at doorways; she _shouldn’t,_ but technically it’s also her parent’s fault: they are arguing about _her_ , in the breathing silence of their home.  
“I want to send her to Seoul”, her mother says; her tone is harsh, angry, but her father doesn't seem bothered. He is angry too.  
“Yes, I heard you he first time. The question is, _with what money_? You stopped working, remember?”  
“I left my job for our daughter, to be close to her! it's going to be hard for her, can't you try to understand?”  
“I understand. Of course I understand, but I'm working all the time! Fuck, what should I do now?! Seoul is expansive, we have no money! We are still paying the mortgage for this house!”  
“Wheein will stay at my mum's”, her mom states, decisive “We won't pay the rent, at last”  
“Your mother hates me. I'm not going to have my daughter raised by her! What the hell?”  
“I have decided everything already. I’ll go back to work and help you to cover the expenses. End of story”  
“ _End of story?_  Do you even hear yourself? Wheein is my daughter too!”  
“You're never home, for God’s sake. You don't get how hard this is for Wheein. She looks depressed all the time, she doesn’t even get singing lessons anymore. She needs to go out, find friends! And she can’t, in this small fucking town!”  
“WHY?”  
“YOU KNOW WHY!”  
Wheein holds her breath, genuinely horrified. Of course, _everyone knows why._  
“Wheein will go to Seoul, it’s for the best. End of discussion”  
“You know?”, Wheein can hear footsteps, the sound of glass hitting the table, “Since you've decided everything by yourself, my presence is unnecessary, right?”  
“Where are you going?!” her mother asks, and Wheein detects a note of alarm in her voice.  
“Does it matter? Really?!” her father replies, laughing “I mean, what do you care? You decided everything, right?”  
Wheein stops listening, running up the stairs; she doesn’t hear the door slam or her mother cry, but the guilt eats her already, destroying her from the inside out.  
Her parents are splitting up, for real this time, and it’s all her fault.  
Hers, and of that damn Hyejin. 


	3. The day she made a friend (act.1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned at first, there will be here, and in the next chapter too, some hints of Wheebyul.   
> Obviously, the fanfiction is not focused on them (I will introduce Hyejin soon, I promise).  
> I remind you that I am not English, so I apologize for all the mistakes! I'm trying to do my best, but I'm full of things to do;   
> I felt sorry to postpone the publication of this chapter again!   
> I hope it's not too bothersome to read ;;

 

Wheein realizes soon that if she wants to survive she has to lie.  
The first day of middle school, when she stands up to introduce herself under the gaze of a thirty watchful eyes, the band-aid is expertly hidden by one small ring, thin and discreet.  
At thirteen, everyone has finally got _“the name”_ on their ring finger, and most of the girls wear a ring to hide it.  
It’s a matter of privacy, apparently; girls are normally more “discreet”, they say, girls prefer to search their soulmate quietly.  
It’s sexist bullshit, but Wheein doesn’t care. She can hide her status, her _handicap,_ and she thanks God to be born as female almost every day.  
Nobody knew her in Seoul, Jung Wheein didn't exist for any of her classmates until that moment. Now, she's just one of the many girls that wear a ring, a shy teenager that barely talks, and she can start living again.  
But that doesn't mean that she can breathe a sigh of relief, _oh no_ ; she needs to be careful, vigilant and meticulous, prepared to deal with every possible problem.  
For example, she is careful to change her band-aid at every break, without exceptions; they must be always the same ones because they fit perfectly and don’t poke out of her ring.  
She always has painkillers in the backpack, in the locker, even under her desk. Compared to when she was younger, the wound hurts less and the blood loss is modest, but it is not uncommon for her to have a mild fever. It’s _normal_ for BCE, Doctor Kim said, the wound gets infected and the temperature rises. Wheein grew accustomed to that soon, without even realizing it.  
She also has a reserve ring _, just in case of course,_ hidden in her shirt pocket, and every morning she makes sure that it is still there _._ She feels secure, every time she does it.  
Her secret must remain so.  
To do so, she had introduced herself to all her classmates the first day of school, but she didn't befriend any of them; her deskmate often seeks points of connection with her, but Wheein is good at avoiding questions, at holding small talks without opening herself up. She will probably stop soon, tired of Wheein’s behavior and, obviously, Wheein will suffer for it, but she has no choice.  
She would like to have a friend, only God knows how much she wants one, but she simply _can’t._  
How would they feel about her, a disgusting BCE?  
No, she can’t risk, not the first year of school for sure.  
So, every morning she wakes up, wears her uniform and goes to school, her hair perfectly tied and the band-aid perfectly clean. A fake smile on her face, and the day begins, implacable.  
it's exhausting.  
She is trapped in Seoul, a huge shining city, all alone; her mother calls her often but never visit because of her new job, and her granny spends her days in front of the TV, ignoring her even at dinner. Her father is vanished, without a trace. She is basically left to herself.  
Her only lifeline is _art_.  
Her school has an art club, small and little publicized, and none of her classmates participate in the activities of it; in fact, the art club is under-populated and Wheein loves it even more for that. Usually, she paints alone, the room empty and quiet, the colors all for hers. It's liberating, and extremely intense.  
She wears herself out, when she paints.  
All the pain and the anxieties come out; she has a color for every feeling that it’s destroying her day by day.  
The blue, for the sadness.  
The red, for the pain.  
The white, for the anxieties.   
And the yellow, for the rage.   
Wheein stares unfazed at the clear canvas in front of her, the tip of the brush that she is holding is stained with blue; her finger bleeds profusely today and the pain is extremely debilitating. Maybe she should have stayed home, away from the danger of getting caught, but in the end, going to school was as risky today as it was yesterday. Pretending to have her period, Wheein has taken refuge in the small room dedicated to art activities; the P.E professor sent her away quickly, without giving her a glance. Wheein often wonders if professors know about her status, but she is afraid to know the answer.   
She’s paranoid, maybe, but it’s not her fault: they are the prejudices of people that are ruining her life, not vice versa. _  
Whatever._  
She is just about to use the wide brush to lay down the background color in a smooth coat when the door bursts open, stopping her.   
A girl stands at the door, tall and slim, her long hair straight and black.  
Definitely she is older than her, _a 4_ th grade maybe…?   
The girl looks surprised too, and a smile suddenly breaks over her face, her nose all scrunched up. She is unexpectedly cute.

“Oh, hello. There's never anyone here at this hour!” she says, closing the door “nice to meet you!”

“Hello. I couldn't go to P.E today so…they sent me here”, Wheein whispers, lowering her gaze again on the canvas, trying to avoid all sorts of platitudes. She doesn't want to look impolite, especially towards a senior, but talking to strangers is not her forte.

The girl doesn’t seem bothered anyway; Wheein steals a shy glance at the girl, watching her walk around the room, the ticking of the soles of her shoes marking every step. She seems looking for something, maybe a white canvas? Will they paint together, side by side?  
Wheein just tries to ignore her concerns, the fear of getting caught _never_ leaves her, bringing all her senses over her work again; she can visualize the final outcome, she just has to paint it, with red yellow and blue.   
It’s only after some time, when she runs out of yellow and needs to grab a new tube of paint, that she finally realizes that someone is staring at her, that the steps stopped but the girl didn’t leave the room.  
She slowly looks up, meeting the girl’s eyes immediately. She is still smiling, her cheeks round and pink, and she seems very eager to talk.

“Can…can I help you?” Wheein finds herself asking, caught off-guard by the entire situation. People around here normally ignores her, greeting her only when they need something; they don’t stare.  
“No, I'm looking for inspiration” the girl says, laughing, pointing at the camera around her neck.  
“Oh, I see”, Wheein didn’t notice earlier the small black camera hanging from the girl's neck; it looks old, vintage, like those that still work with rolls of film.  
“You’re very inspiring”, her tone of voice is soft and tender, very innocent, “Are you painting a masterpiece? You seemed very focused and professional”  
Wheein doesn’t reply, staring at her composition full of doubts; it’s just a jumble of colorful lines that fit together in a very disordered way, not exactly a _Michelangelo_.  
“I don’t think so. It’s just…a painting” she says, unsure.  
Abstract art is complicated, sometimes it’s such a mystery even for her, how can she explain it? She is not good with words and explanations, anyway.  
“But you put all your effort on it, it can’t be bad!”, and the girl basically slides next to her, her eyes on the canvas too. She doesn’t do any comment for a while, and Wheein swallows, uncomfortable.  
She doesn't like being judged, especially by a stranger, but the girl looks kind, very friendly, and Wheein has no idea about what to do. Does she need to say something?  
The older girl sighs loudly, diverting Wheein from her own thoughts, the beginnings of a frown on her face. She is… _adorable_.  
“I’m sorry. I just don't understand abstract art…I'm more a _photograph type,_ probably _”_ and she leans onto the canvas, carefully observing the paint “But I think it’s cool. I mean, I get the allure, I just don’t understand the deeper meaning of it. Sorry”  
Wheein releases a breath she didn't know she was holding, relaxing her shoulders, feeling her chest expanding with relief.  
“It’s fine, I appreciate the compliment” she mutters, hiding a smile “You were honest”  
The girl smirks, winking, and extends her hand.  
 “My name is Byulyi, by the way. Nice to meet you”  
“Jung Wheein” she stammers, a little embarrassed, getting up to bow properly.   
“Well, Wheein, do you mind if I take a picture?”  
“A…a picture? To my painting?”  
“To you and your painting. You are pretty too” Byulyi says nonchalantly, taking a couple of steps back, searching a good light.  
Wheein’s eyes widen, her heart skips a beat; she is slightly taken aback by the compliment, and the astonishment annihilates every coherent thought. She does not know what to say, how to decline; Byulyi looks excited, there is a twinkle in her eye.

She _can’t_ say no.

“Ok…” she whispers, and the older girl quickly grabs the camera and takes off the lens cap, bringing the object in front of her face.

Wheein tries to pose, straightening her back awkwardly and making a serious face, in an attempt to conceal her profound lack of confidence.  
Byulyi chuckles, lowering the camera a bit, offering a smile “Relax, please. I'm not putting a gun to your head. It’s just a camera, I swear”, and she snaps a couple of pics, “See? You are still alive!”  
Wheein smiles, a little embarrassed by her own clumsiness, and stares at Byulyi's camera, watching her adjust the lens, trying to relax. Her smile freezes when her eyes spot a band-aid, big and white, wrapped around the finger of the older girl.  
Byulyi doesn't seem to notice her sudden change of mood, too busy adjusting the lens.  
Wheein feels her throat getting dry, cold sweat running out her back. Her smile gone, turned into an ugly grimace, and her hands are a little shaky.

A BCE.

A person…like her, into the same school, no less. An older BCE, pretty and gently.  
She doesn't exactly know why she’s panicking, _she’s literally fritzing out inside_ , and why she can’t take her eyes off of Byulyi’s finger, her discretion flung out of the window.  
Overly concentrated on herself, Wheein doesn't notice that Byulyi stopped, that the camera went off two minutes ago, and that Byulyi has now a shadow behind her eyes.  
“Yes, I’m a BCE, if that's what you're wondering”, she says, her voice cold, distant; Wheein silently lifts up her eyes, biting her lip; there's no sign of Byulyi’s cute smile anymore and it's her fault. How can Byulyi say that so calmly? Wheein never said that word aloud, never. That's a _forbidden_ word.  
Wheein opens her mouth to respond, but no sounds come out.   
“Thank you for your time. I’m leaving”  
Wheein observes Byulyi walk away from her, slowly and sad, and the reality hits Wheein like a truck. She's letting go the only person that probably can understand her, after hurting her.  
She rises to her feet very fast, not letting herself sway as a temporary dizziness takes hold.  
“Wait! Can…Can I have a copy of it?” she asks in a shrill voice, trying to hide the nervousness. Her face bears the hint of a delicate smile, in a desperate attempt to inspire trust.   
Byulyi stops, surprised maybe, turning around again to observe her. She seems to think about it for a moment, a look of suspicion on her face, but in the end, she smiles again, her expression softens and Wheein starts to breathe again.  
“Sure”


	4. The day she made a friend (act.2)

Having a friend is _strange,_ Wheein is not used to that anymore. It’s weird to have someone to talk to, after almost two years of loneliness.  
She often doesn’t know what to do, or what to say; the walls that she built to keep herself safe are thick, and apparently hard to destroy. Byul doesn’t push her, she always takes her shy nods and small talk with enthusiasm, talking enough for both of them.  
Byul is a good girl, thoughtful like a big sister, and Wheein really appreciates her company; it’s nice not being alone all the time, even though she can’t show it as she'd like.  
Compared to her, Byul is so different: she is just so fun and outgoing, her cheesy lines spare no one, even Wheein. It seems that being a BCE didn't affect Byulyi’s life, at least not too much.  
The girl doesn’t wear a ring, under any circumstance; her big white band-aid, shown to the world without shame, is a constant reminder to Wheein that she is just a _coward,_ because her own band-aid, hidden under her silver ring, is still a secret for Byul.  
At the beginning of their friendship, Wheein thought a lot about that, and she chose to not share that information to the girl; even though Byul had introduced herself as a BCE, Wheein wasn't able to fully trust her, probably because opening up to new people wasn't Wheein’s strong point. She wanted things to be safe for her, without any reckless risk. Who was Byulyi, after all? Just a stranger. __  
That was her first mistake.  
As time has passed, Wheein started to feel guilty, because Byul has shown her real self from the very beginning, without hesitation and fear, and Wheein was repaying her just with silence and lies.  
Maybe omit a piece of information was not as serious as a lie, but Wheein feels tremendously guilty; however, she doesn't know how to start the topic anymore, she didn’t want to sound insensitive or makes Byul feel uncomfortable.  
The chance to discuss about it comes on a spring day, when Byulyi introduces Wheein to her friends after a couple of months since their first encounter.   
Wheein is nervous like never before, her mouth is dry and her brain totally blank; the girls in front of her are gently and relaxed, but their beautiful features make her insecure.  
Byulyi’s friends are awfully pretty, thin and graceful, and Wheein can’t help but feel out of place.  
Hani, long purple hair and big brown eyes, looks like a model; she is the first one who introduces herself to her and Wheein bows in an almost comical way, trying to hide her round face behind her long black hair.  
Amber, on the contrary, does not move, but gives her a friendly wink; she has her hands in her pockets, and her short haircut and her angular bone structure give her a tomboy look. She is awesome too.

_Oh god. Why am I here?_

“Ready to sing?”, Byul’s voice is excited as she pulls out her phone to check the time “The karaoke is about to open!”  
“What about Seulgi?” Hani asks, starting to move towards the building; Wheein follows them, her desire to sing completely disappeared.  
“She texted me a couple of minutes ago, she will join us later”  
Wheein has never been to a karaoke, and she always wanted to go, but her anxiety is eating her up and she can’t really enjoy the moment. She sits on the couch, trying to avoid any eyes contact, pretending to admire the video on the screen. It’s a girl group, nine beautiful girls dance gracefully to music, their bodies flutter back and forth in their shiny dresses. They are just a little older than her probably, but Wheein feels so different from them, with her mediocre and lackluster appearance.  
“It’s a bop, don’t you think?” suddenly someone says, making her jump. Hani is sitting right next to her, her smile is warm and perfectly symmetrical; she could be an idol too, just like the girls on the screen.  
“What?” she mutters, caught off guard.  
“This song! Twice are releasing a lot of good hits these days. And they are improving their visuals too”  
“Oh, yes. You’re right”  
“Are you a fan too?”  
“No, not really. But they are cute”  
“Oh, so won't you sing “TT” with me? Please sing with me, Amber doesn’t want to”, she pouts, but her eyes are laughing.  
Wheein chuckles, nodding “I will”  
“Ahh Wheein, thank you! Now we have to convince Byul for the rap!”  
“No”, Byulyi, appeared out of nowhere gives the remote to Wheein with a smile, ignoring Hani’s complaints.  
“Since this is your first time, you can go first! Have fun!”  
Wheein smiles, accepting the device, swallowing her anxiety away; she scrolls some titles, songs too commercial or new for her, before actually choosing one. It’s a ballad, a very popular song that she sang at her singing contest, about three years ago. An entire lifetime ago, when her life was still easy and carefree.  
The words appear on the screen, black and white, but Wheein just closes her eyes, immersing herself into the intoxication of the instrumental melody. The feeling is still the same, still nice like before, and her concerns disappear one by one at every note.  
Wheein didn’t even realize how much she missed music until that exactly moment; she confuses some words, and her high notes are not as good as before, but it doesn’t matter. It’s not about the precision, it’s the sensation that counts. And Wheein feels _amazing_.  
The music ends smoothly, the latest chords echo in the room and Wheein reopens her eyes, turning around to return the microphone.  
She is welcomed by six eyes wide open, and the girls seem in a state of shock. Automatically, Wheein’s gaze falls on her ring finger, but the patch is still securely hidden.  
“W-what's wrong?” she asks, feeling anxious.  
“Nothing just… _wow_ ” Amber says, after an awkward moment of silence, smiling “You sing beautifully. Why didn't you tell us? We can't compete”  
“Yeah, Wheein! You should have told me! Now, how can I make you fall in love with me? My voice was my secret weapon” Byul pouts, provoking a gaudy laughter from Hani. Amber joins her, and Byul just grins, winking, all the tension dissipated.  
“Oh” that’s all Wheein can manage to say; she feels her cheeks turning completely red and, maybe, her heart rejoicing for the compliment. It's been so long since someone appreciated her voice, and it's a nice feeling.  
“Where did you learn to sing like that?” Hani asks, accepting the microphone from Wheein “I don’t know if I can compete!”  
“Oh, you definitely can’t!” Amber exclaims, still laughing, but before Hani can back talk, a girl opens the door with a violent motion.  
Wheein jumps, startled, but the girl just enters, dropping her backpack.

_Oh right, she must be Seulgi_.

“Seulgi, you did it—What’s happened?”, Byul quickly stands up and rushes to the girl, a worried look on her face.  
The girl looks pretty overwhelmed, and sweaty, as if she'd run a marathon; she is panting too.  
“I…nothing. I’m late, right? Oh yeah, I messaged you” she says, struggling to remove her jacket “I’m here now! Sorry”  
Wheein observes the girl closely, that still didn’t notice her presence; to be honest, she looks too distraught to notice anything. She has a round face with hazel eyes and her hair is long, black, with bangs: she looks very young, maybe they even are the same age.  
The girl, Seulgi, starts to adjust her bangs nervously, but Byul intercepts her hand “Are you sure?”  
“Yeah, I’m sur--Oh! You are Byul’s friend?” she says, spotting her, and Wheein smiles tentatively, bowing slightly “I’m Wheein”  
“Oh, I’m Seulgi, nice to meet you. Sorry, I’m not always like this, I swear ahaha!” she laughs nervously, scratching the back of her neck.  
“Seulgi, what’s happened?” Amber asks, ignoring the bland attempts of Seulgi to avoid the topic; Seulgi just sighs aloud, almost resigned, and lets herself fall on the couch.  
“I…I met Joohyun” she whispers as if that explains everything. And actually that name means _something_ , because Byul gasps astonished, and Hani drops the mic.  
“You did?!” Byul asks, surprised.  
“Yeah. At the library, he is a new assistant or something like that. The tag on his shirt said Joohyun” she says, and covers her face with her hands.  
“And you felt it? The _resonance_?”  
Seulgi, after a whole minute of silence, shakes her head and whispers, in a faltering voice “No. Nothing at all”  
After that, the room falls quiet.  
Wheein holds her breath, and suppresses the urge of running away now that everything became clear; "Joohyun" is obviously the name of Seulgi’s soulmate.  
Wheein backs away imperceptibly, all her five senses on alert; she can feel the intensity in the air and the doesn’t want to be there. She has nothing to do with them, with this entire topic.  
She is a stranger, an _intruder,_ but nobody seems to care.   
“Oh, Seulgi, don't be upset. You are so young” Byul says in the end, her arm drapes protectively around Seulgi's shoulders “You have your whole life to find him, you know”  
“And Joohyun is a pretty common name” Hani adds, smiling gently.  
“Is it a common name? For real?! He is the first Joohyun I meet in 15 years of my life. And I panicked because I thought he was the one, and…I was so embarrassed and I did a figure…”  
“Seulgi, it is okay to be disappointed. It happened to me, too. I mean, this kind of thing happens to everybody every day” Hani says, but Seulgi doesn’t seem convinced or persuaded.  
“You can't find him on the first blow. That only happens in the movies, Seulgi” Amber pats Seulgi’s head affectionately “Do you remember that time I believed I found out my soulmate? I spilled tea on myself like an idiot and Hani couldn’t stop laughing”  
Seulgi rubs her eyes and gives them a tiny smile, probably cheered up by the memory “Maybe you’re right…”  
“Of course I am! Let’s ask to the only objective person in this room. What do you think Wheein? Can you confirm? I’m right or not?”  
Wheein freezes, feeling the tension building inside her. It's almost funny considering the circumstances, God must have a strange sense of humor. __  
  
The resonance.

Books say that the resonance is incredible, you feel a joy inexpressible with words; in the exactly the moment you meet your soulmate, the world becomes colored and you feel attracted to that person forever. It’s a forever bond that cannot easily be severed, _a wonderful union of two souls_.  
Something she can never experience directly.  
It’s scary just thinking about it, but Seulgi’s eyes are watery, big _, crystalline_ and all focused on her. She swallows, the saliva seems like cement paste.

“Yes” she lies, her voice very low, “she is right. That happened to me too”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) The new characters introduced are Hani (from EXID), Amber (from f (x)) and Seulgi (from Red Velvet). For those who have noticed, Seulgi's soulmate is Irene (Joohyun), but actually the name is unisex, and she thought her soulmate was a boy. Unlike other many places, Korea has a lot of unisex names, and that makes the search for soulmate more complicated ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶r̶y̶,̶ ̶H̶y̶e̶j̶i̶n̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶K̶o̶r̶e̶a̶n̶ ̶f̶e̶m̶i̶n̶i̶n̶e̶ ̶g̶i̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶n̶a̶m̶e̶
> 
> 2) Hyejin will appear soon, like a queen, I swear, but I anticipate that the next chapter will be very fully of Wheebyul contents, pls don't hate me. It's really a Wheesa story. 
> 
> 3) Sorry for my mistakes, like always.
> 
>  
> 
> See you. <3


	5. The day she made a friend (act.3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: panic attack!

After that day, Wheein didn't bring up the subject “soulmates” anymore.  
For what purpose, anyway?  
She doesn't see any sense of wasting her friendship with Byul because of that; the damn name marked on her skin has already done too much damage in her life. Besides, nobody seems to really care about names, soulmates or things like that; Wheein still doesn’t know the names tattooed on Hani and Amber, and she plans to keep it this way. Everything is just fine exactly the way it is.  
She hangs out with them at least once a week, getting around the city; Seoul is huge, there are a lot of fun things to do every day.  
They even have a _Kakao Chat_ together now, where they share meme and plans, and for the first time Wheein feels like she is part of a group: it’s strange and amazing at the same time, and finally the expansive phone that her mother bought to her is good for something.  
Wheein feels changed, in a _good_ way; she smiles more, talks more, even her classmates noticed her change behavior and involve her more.  
Everything runs very smoothly and quietly; spring seems to come slowly and, in the blink of an eye, the second semester begins.  
It’s raining, that afternoon, but Wheein doesn’t care. In fact, rainy days give her _inspiration_. She loves rain, it brings back happy memories of good times, things from her childhood she doesn't want to forget. Why people associate always the rain with a sad, gloomy state? Stomping around in puddles was her favorite game as a child, she still remembers her mother and father join her sometimes, a long time ago, when they were still a _happy_ family.  
Rain is good, and makes everything grow, even _flowers_. Maybe, she thinks smiling, that’s why she is painting a flower, a big blue flower, in the center of the canvas for at least an hour.  
So immersed in her work, Wheein barely notices the door opening, and a girl stepping inside the room. She doesn’t spare her a glance, letting out an absent-minded greeting.  
But a few seconds later, a cough hijacks her attention and Wheein turns quickly her head up to the girl. She has never seen her before. Per se, it’s not a rare thing, obviously she can't know everybody in the school, but she almost learned the face of every member of the club by now and Wheein never saw her.  
The girl is not very tall, Wheein is perhaps a half inch taller, and her face is a bit plump, but it fits well on her body; her hair is long and brown and her eyebrows are thick.  
“Can I help you?” she asks, giving her a very weak smile. She is improving her inadequate social skills, but talking with strangers makes her uneasy; she is still rather shy, after all.  
“I'm looking for the club president, I want to join this club” a firm pleasant voice replies, and Wheein’s brain registers immediately that she never heard a voice like that, with that marked accent. Surely, she is not from Seoul.  
“We don’t have a club president, there are too few of us for that. You need to go to the administrative office and fill out a form to join the club. You can also write the supplies you'll need, we have a bit of everything. Anyway, if you're looking for something specific, write it there, just to make sure”  
“Oh ok”, the girl says, a bit pensive, adjusting her hair with a light hand “It’s strange, though. This school is so big, why this club is so small?”  
“Oh, yes. Everyone prefers the drama club” she murmurs, shrugging her shoulders slightly “the basketball club is also pretty popular these days”  
“It’s a pity, art is better” the girl exclaims, looking a bit disgruntled.  
Wheein just nods indifferently, without particular conviction; she loves art, it’s her little escape from the world and she really hopes to pursue art in high school, but not everyone feels the same way and that’s _ok_. Everyone is free to do what they want and free to manage their own activities, in her opinion.  
“Thank you, anyway. You've been very kind and helpful!” the girl says, offering a smile; Wheein can't help thinking how lovely is that smile, all dimples showed in her pale cheeks “This school is so complicated! My old school was small, there wasn't even an art club or a room dedicated to the art of painting”  
“Oh, that’s bad! Are you from far away?” Wheein asks, returning the smile.  
“Yeah, it’s pretty obvious, right?” the girl starts to giggle, amused “My accent is really strong, I'll probably be known as “the bumpkin” soon!”  
Wheein’s smile becomes unintentionally an ugly grimace, and her eyes widen a bit, even though the girl seems unbothered by the idea.  
She…she is probably _right;_ they would tease her because she is new, and her accent very peculiar and different. People don’t like the different, the _uninvited_. If anyone was in a position to know, Wheein was.  
And she feels bad for her, because bullying is no joke and words can hurt anybody and scar a person for life.

_You are one of those disgusting BCE. You will die sad and alone!_

Wheein swallows, trying to suppress the sudden memory. It's been so long already, why those words still haunt her?  
“Anyway, I'd love to keep talking, but I’m late! Thank you for your help!”, she says and Wheein blinks, coming back from that distant grim memory; she observes the girl moving away from her, hurrying in the door, but then she stops, and turns her head toward her, as if she suddenly remembered something.  
“I'll see you around…?”  
“Yes. Wheein, my name is Wheein”  
“Yeah! I’m Hyejin. Nice meeting ya!” she says as she disappears into the corridor, closing the door behind her.  
Silence falls on the room; time seems to stop entirely.  
Completely petrified, Wheein stares at the point where the girl has disappeared, at the white closed door, unable to move even a muscle.  
She dreamt about that moment a lot in the last few years, the day she would meet someone with that damn name, but she has always hoped that this would never happen; it’s an endless nightmare of torment. In her dreams, Hyejin is always tall, slim and haughty: Wheein can never see her facial features, neither her eyes or her lips, but what comes out of her mouth are always words of hate.  
In all her nightmares, Hyejin hates her.  
She broke their bond after all, so why shouldn't she?  
Wheein always woke up slightly nauseous after those dreams, but at that moment she feels worse, _so much worse_ ; her head starts to spin as she tries to cope with what happened. A terrible panic engulfs her _._  
She met a girl named _Hyejin_. And nothing changes, nothing will never change, because she doesn’t have a soulmate, and she will _never_ have it.  
Because Hyejin eliminated that option right from the beginning.  
What are the chances that this Hyejin is...?

_None. There's no way she's her possible soulmate._

Her heart is racing so fast she can barely breathe. Whimpering, she presses her fists to her head, her vision blurred. She can’t feel anything, except her pulse pounding in her ears, but probably she is crying.  
She wants to vomit, to throw up everything that sits at the bottom of her stomach, but she doesn’t; instead, she tries to calm herself, her heartbeat is racing like crazy.  
She is fast drowning herself by her own senseless struggles when a voice calls her, a weak distant voice. Wheein doesn’t understand, _who is calling her_? Why? She wants to be left alone, she is not able to breathe normally, let alone interact with people!  
“Wheein!”  
For a moment, even her own name doesn't sound familiar. Wheein struggles to open her eyes, tears run silently down her cheeks.  
Byulyi is in front of her, dark eyes and hair, a worried look on her face.  
“Wheein, can you hear me?”  
Actually, she can’t hear her very well, Byul's voice sounds as if it’s coming through some kind of a barrier; it’s muffled and dull to her ears.  
“Wheein, I want you to focus on my voice, ok?”  
Wheein opens her mouth, trying to say something, anything, but nothing comes out.  
“Breathe. I need you to breathe for me, Wheein. Just take one deep breath, okay?” Byul says and Wheein does; she breathes in and her mouth is dry, with an awful taste on her tongue. She closes her eyes.  
“You are doing good, Wheein. Now, take another deep breath in and one long breath out with me. Yeah, just like that”  
And slowly, very slowly, the room stops spinning; she feels her heart slowing down and energy coming back to her, nausea still there but not as bad like before.  
The time starts again.  
“Wheein”  
Opening her eyes, Wheein finds Byul squatting in front of her, all her attention focuses on her. She shallows, forcing the bile back down her throat. Byulyi looks worried, but there is a smile affixed to her cute face, in an attempt to be reassuring probably.  
“Are you feeling a bit better?” she asks, and Wheein just nods, not trusting her voice at the moment. She accepts a bottle of water from Byulyi, just came out of nowhere, and drinks, trying to erase the bad taste in her mouth, in her heart.   
It was a futile attempt, really. The sense of bitterness, the _disappointment_ , will never disappear. She rises from her chair in one fluid motion, and the brush rolls on, staining the floor with brilliantly blue. Blue.  
She is not feeling blue anymore, now. Everything is just _black._    
“Wheein?”, Byul calls her, her voice slightly alarmed “what's wrong? You have to throw up?”  
She doesn’t reply, her eyes glued to the floor. She feels pathetic and tired, and her heart is so heavy. She wants to go home, and never get out.  
She staggers as she is drunk toward the door, longing to breathe some fresh air, but Byul’s hand stops her, her warm fingers gripping quickly her wrist. Her touch is gentle and delicate, meant to be reassuring and sweet, but Wheein retracts like she's just been bitten.  
She doesn’t want to be touched.  
She is _disgusting_ , after all.  
“Wheein? What happens? You're worrying me” Byul says, her eyes wide open; Wheein reads concern into them and feels guilty, for a second. But then, anger blurs her vision.   
“Do you really want to know?” she spits out bitterly, but what comes from her mouth isn't her voice, but just a broken croak, “So you can hate me too?”  
“Wheein—”  
“Fine!” she laughs, a short bitter laugh, her vision dims momentarily “as you wish! I met the new girl. The short, plump girl. She wants to join the club. She loves art apparently. Isn't this fun?”  
“The new girl? Hyejin?”  
“DON’T SAY HER NAME!” she screams, feeling a burning in her throat, an acrid taste at the base of her tongue “Don’t say that name”  
Byul shuts her mouth and looks at Wheein more closely, a new awareness growing inside her. She takes a step toward Wheein, and the younger girl steps back, freaking out.  
“Wheein…”  
“How do you know her? WHY DO YOU EVEN KNOW HER BLOODY NAME?”  
“She's in the same grade as me”, Byulyi says, taking another step, smiling again, but there is something wrong with her smile; Wheein moves further away from her, she feels trapped with anxiety.  
“It’s fine Wheein, really”, Byulyi’s voice is warm, _soft_ “the same thing happened to Seulgi, remember?”  
Wheein looks at her in shock, opening her mouth to speak, but she doesn't say anything; nothing really comes out. Byulyi didn't understand anything. How could she?  
Wheein is a liar, after all, a disgusting liar.  
“You got it all wrong” she finally says, laughing out loud, but she is crying and, _god_ why she was crying like a child?, she feels humiliated enough “all wrong”  
Byul looks at her confused, trying to understand “…did you feel the resonance, then?” she asks, and Wheein just wants to disappear, to be swallowed by the floor. She's about to lose everything, again, and she isn’t ready, but the world couldn't care less.  
“Of course I didn’t feel the resonance”, she wipes her tears from her eyes angrily, her mouth twists into a distorted grin; she is suddenly conscious of the way she must look, hysterical is probably an understatement “And you know why? Because I will never feel it. Never. I can’t. Never! Isn't this _fun_?”  
Byulyi gasps, absorbing the implication of Wheein's words; she opens and closes her mouth several times, speechless.  
Wheein stares at her with a combination of despair and relief, behind a hot layer of tears. She said _it_. And it is the first time she says it aloud. She could not have chosen a worse time to say it probably, but Wheein feels a short sense of release, of relief. She _said it._  
Slowly, very slowly, the older girl approaches her, shortening the distance between them; she reaches Wheein’s left hand in a very slow motion, like she wanted to ask for her permission, and Wheein does not withdraw from her touch, not this time. There's no point running away anymore.  
She looks at her hand as if it doesn't belong to her, coldly, with a note of inevitability. Gently, Byul removes her silver ring and Wheein bites the inside of her cheek, nervous; her hand feels lost and unhinged, and Wheein doesn’t like the sensation.  
Her white band-aid stands out in all its mediocrity; it is clean, changed at the last break, and it says more than a thousand words.  
Wheein doesn't know what to say, how to justify herself. She wants to say that she is sorry, really sorry, that she had no choice, because she was scared to death to tell something like that out loud.  
But all of those words seem to useless, fake, cruel; meaningless. She lied to Byul, her first true friend, and that's all that matters. She simply wants to say that she feels guilty for not telling her about it sooner, and that every day it gets harder and harder to bear that secret, but nothing does not matter anymore.  
She lied, and Byulyi has every right to hate her, to leave her there, crying and desperate. Wheein expects it. She deserves it. She is pathetic and doesn’t deserve a friend like Byul, caring and friendly. She deserves nothing, just-  
Byul suddenly wraps her arm around her, pulling her into a warm hug. Byulyi smells nice, the aroma of her vanilla shampoo engulfs Wheein completely. She holds her breath, without knowing what to do, if she could hug her back; she thinks she loses that right by now.  
But then, Byulyi kisses her temple and strokes her hair, murmuring undefined words to calm her. Wheein doesn't know when she started crying again, all she knows is that her cheeks are wet and her breath is ragged.  
She hugs her back, wrapping her arms tighter around Byulyi's neck.  
“Oh you, poor thing” Byulyi whispers, her tone very low and sweet, “It’s fine Wheein. Everything is going to be alright. I promise”  
Wheein just cries harder, burying her face in Byulyi’s jumper, unable to reply.    
“Everything is going to be alright” Byulyi says again.  
Wheein really wants to believe it.


	6. The day she made a friend (act. 4)

In hindsight, she might just have overreacted.  
Probably, Park Hyejin was not even her soulmate. Still, it took her a while to calm down, cradled slowly in Byul’s arms.  
Wheein remembers that day as extremely stressful, devastating in every way; the panic attack, the sickening sense of insecurity arising from the bottom of her heart, the deafening fear of being abandoned by Byul…everything about that moment has been just very intense.  
However, as the panic faded away and tears stopped, reality started to become less scary, more clear and simple. Thinking back on it all now, all that panic was totally unjustified, but she was young and naïve, and so _so_ lonely.  
Wheein couldn’t know it for sure, she will _never_ be able to know it for sure, but in the following days, something inside her just kept saying that Park Hyejin was just a girl, not linked in any way to her.  
After that day, she regularly met Hyejin at the club, at least once a week, until the end of the school year: in February, Park Hyejin graduated and left Seoul; just as she arrived, the girl disappeared from her life in the blink of an eye.  
On the same cold day of February, Byul graduated too. Obviously, she didn’t disappear into thin air, in fact, the opposite.  
Their friendship developed quickly after Wheein's confession; Byul never blamed or scolded her for her omission of truth. Byul tenderly said she understood _._  
Of course Byulyi understood; she is a BCE just like her, after all, she would never judge Wheein for her fear of not being considered good enough. Wheein felt foolish, beyond foolish, to think otherwise.  
The fear of loneliness, the deep terror of not being accepted by others in a group, is something that BCE can understand better than other people; that day, Byul comforted her with loving words, letting Wheein crying on her shoulder as long as she needed to. And she needed to cry so badly, she had felt fragile like a crystal.  
After the appearance of Park Hyejin, they became closer and closer, their relationship grew stronger than ever. So, it didn't matter that Byulyi’s high school was far away, _very_ away from her, or that the opportunities to meet up got smaller and smaller, Wheein had never felt more serene, happier.  
She knew she could trust Byul, and it felt…pretty _great_.  
When she graduated from the 9th grade too, on a rainy day, she enrolled in a public high school that required a daily 50-minute subway ride, away from her granny's small apartment, but near to Byul’s house. She happened to be in the same school as Seulgi, and Wheein never, _never,_ experienced lonely lunches in the corner of the canteen anymore.  
She pursued her study of art, and everything seemed to proceed in the best way; that doesn't mean that she didn't feel lonely anymore, or that those nightmares about Hyejin stopped, just…a new sense of calm warmed up her high school days and Wheein is grateful about it.  
She _will_ be always grateful for it.

“Penny for your thought?”

Byulyi’s voice interrupts abruptly her train of thought. The older girl appears from the kitchen with popcorns and beers, already wearing her yellow pajamas. Byul hasn't changed one bit, behind her round black glasses there are the same kind eyes that caught Wheein’s eye from the first day, the same kindness. It's somehow reassuring _._  
“I was thinking I'm lucky” she replies, accepting a beer and the bowl full of food with a smile.  
It's _movie night_.  
Since Byul moved into her own apartment for university, three years ago, one night a week is dedicated to snacks and old American films; it has become a meaningful moment to them, an occasion to enjoy each other's company. Sometimes the others join too, but Hani and Amber are often off for work, and Seulgi is stuck with Joohyun day and night these days.  
It's just them every time; actually, Wheein is almost always at Byulyi’s house, movie night or _not_. It’s home.  
Settling down next to her, Wheein heard her say, “Of course you’re lucky, you’re spending the night with me” and she just scoffs, opening the can of beer and taking a long sip.  
“God, who wants to kill me for stealing you this time?” she asks, pretending to be irritated “I don’t want to risk my life, your girls are scary”  
Byulyi laughs at her words, having too much fun for her tastes, so she pinches her arm, enjoying the small pained groan from the latter.  
The fact is that Byul doesn’t have a girl, she has _a ton_ of girls and, on top of that, every single one of them is pathologically jealous of Wheein.    
Obviously, it’s unjustified jealousy. Not because she and Byul don’t share the bed, actually they sleep together several times, but because none of them have really the right to be jealous.  
They are not Byulyi’s girlfriends, and never will be.  
After all, none of them have Byulyi’s name on their ring finger.  
“It happened just one time!” Byul complains, grasping the remote and shoving food into her mouth “and it wasn’t even my fault!”  
That’s technically true, it wasn't really Byulyi’s fault that Yoona confused her role as "friend with benefits" with "crazy girlfriend" and followed Wheein to yell at her, _but still_.  
“It’s always your fault” she says softly after a while, letting her eyes wander to the television's screen.  
Byul, in one fluid movement, wraps her arms around the girl’s waist, and rests her chin on Wheein’s lap; she searches her eyes like a cheeky baby, smiling wider, and Wheein just drops her fake annoyance.  
Nobody can resist Byulyi’s smile. That is exactly the problem in the first place.   
“Don’t worry, you’re my favorite girl” Byulyi states enthusiastically, giving her a peck on the lips playfully.   
Wheein does not bother to say anything, she just rolls her eyes and directs her full attention to the movie, letting Byul make herself comfortable onto her lap.  
A half an hour later, somehow, her hands are running through Byulyi's hair and Byulyi’s hands are in her pants, the old black and white movie easily forgotten in the background.

 

To be honest and totally fair in all things, Wheein can't say that she never thought about Byulyi as a possible girlfriend. Byul is totally _girlfriend material_ ; she is kind, sweet, always there for her.  
Especially when she was younger, the idea of dating the older girl kept Wheein awake many nights; she kept tossing and turning in bed, trying to get that thought out of her head.  
But, after all _, why not?_  
It could be the perfect solution to their problem; neither she nor Byul have much hope to find the person meant for them, fate has not been very kind to them, so... falling in love with each other didn't seem so absurd.  
However, the idea terrified and thrilled her teen self all at the same time.  
Not all love stories were _sweet_ , and her thoughts always flew to her parents and their awful marriage. Feelings could be so fleeting, _transitional_ : she didn't want something like that with Byul, she didn’t _need_ it at all.  
She felt _, she still feels_ , something deep for Byul, an affection which was beyond a common affection, beyond love and hate.  
A _purposeless love,_ pure and special, in her own opinion. _  
Something permanent._

“You’re spacing out a lot tonight”  
  
Wheein turns slowly into the warm blanket, facing the other girl. Byulyi is curled up next to her in all her naked glory, her blonde hair messily splayed across the blue pillow and her brown eyes half-shut. She is beautiful.  
Extending her hand to caress her cheek, Wheein absently thinks she knows every inch of that body, every birthmark, every mole that puckers on Byulyi’s skin, but also every flaws and imperfection, every _crack_.  
It’s surely something that transcends the banal charm of love. That awareness makes her smile warmly.  
“Are you going to miss me when you're in London?” she decides to ask, her tone deceptively indifferent.  
“Don't you think it's a bit early for that? I am going to leave at the end of next month, after Christmas”, Byul whispers, still a little sleepy; her left arm reaches slowly Wheein's waist and pulls her tightly against her body. Wheein just lets her do it; Byulyi is warm and smells nice.  
“Two years goes faster than you think, don’t worry” Byulyi adds, spooning her from behind, kissing the nape of her neck  “I'll be back in Korea in no time”  
Wheein just makes a sound of agreement, her gaze fixed on the wall in front of her.  
The forthcoming Byul's departure from Korea in order to attend a master's degree in photography destabilizes her a bit, whether she wants to admit it or not, but she also knows that Byul is right.  
Two years will go by pretty fast, and it's not like she will be utterly alone; she has other friends, now. It’s just that, well, Byul is _special._  
It's her first real friend, her first crush, her first in almost _everything._  
“Byul”, she whispers, and the latter opens entirely her eyes, totally awake this time “Did you ever hate her?”  
Her words seem to float softly on the air and dissipate like imaginary smoke rings into the stillness of the room. Probably there is no need to specify who “her” is, but Wheein just lets that name fall out of her mouth, smoothly “Do you hate _Yongsun_?”  
“No”, is the immediate answer; Byulyi’s voice is firm and controlled, pure as the driven snow “She is my soulmate. I hope she's happy, wherever she is”  
She’s happy with someone else, Wheein bitterly thinks, but keeps those words to herself.  
“I hope to meet her one day. She is beautiful, I know it” the older girl continues, her tone becoming dreamy “I'll make her fall for me. No girl can resist me, after all”  
Wheein scoffs, automatically rolling her eyes “Oh, shut up”  
“You'll see” Byulyi chuckles, holding her in a tight embrace “my charm is no joke. I’m awesome. She will fall for me for sure”  
Wheein sighs, adding nothing more; all the words in her mind seem superfluous and unnecessary now. And _cruel_.  
She knows, _they both know_ , the utter impossibility of such scenario, but there is no need to say it out loud and crush dreams.  
How many times did she dream the same impossible thing? She has dreamed so much about meeting Hyejin that she ended up _hating her_ more than ever _._  
She does not want the same for Byulyi.  
“Hey Byul”, she calls softly, swallowing her sadness.  
“Hm?”  
_Please, be happy. And come back soon._  
 _I'm scared without you._  
“You still haven't answered my question”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Wheebyul contents officially end here *finally*  
> Sorry, you were all excited about the appearance of Hyejin...but she was the wrong Hyejin.  ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶g̶u̶e̶s̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶t̶ ^^;  
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter; there are probably more grammar mistakes than usual (I hate the past tense, srsly), but from tomorrow until July 25th I won't have the chance to write anything at all  ̶i̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶u̶n̶i̶v̶e̶r̶s̶i̶t̶y̶ ̶l̶i̶f̶e̶ ̶y̶e̶a̶h̶, so I wanted, at least, close this part of the story. And *spoiler* Hyejin is going to be in the next chapter (Yongsun too), so finally it's time for some  ̶a̶n̶g̶s̶t̶  Wheesa. 
> 
> See you soon!


	7. The day she met her (act. 1)

Seoul is known to be gorgeous during the Christmas period, with sparkling lights along the streets and its Christmas tree in the city center; everybody seems to agree that Christmas is a happy occasion, kids eagerly await their gifts and adults can enjoy some holiday cheer, spending hours wandering around the shops or enjoying their free time at home.  
The good mood under Christmas is contagious, they say; Wheein, however, is not a big fan of Christmas, or any other festivity at all.  
Holidays mean _family_ , and family means coming back to Jeonju to her mother and her new perfect family, and Wheein feels like she doesn’t exactly fit into the picture. It's a bit of a nuisance, in a way.  
After the divorce and her departure to Seoul, her mother found comfort with Doctor Lee, Wheein’s pediatrician, newly divorced too and willing to help Wheein’s mother with her questions about BCE condition; they got to spend a lot of time together, talking to each other about everything, and soon they ended up falling in love. It’s a sweet story, kind of classic romance in her opinion, but still cute.  
Doctor Lee seems like a nice man, and Wheein can’t certainly blame her mother for wanting to find someone else after her father, but something just feels wrong every time she visits them. She doesn’t really belong there, in that house.  
Her mother and Doctor Lee moved together in a new apartment just outside the city, very comfortable but also very small; there is indeed a second bedroom for guests, but the room is mostly occupied by Doctor Lee’s daughter, Da-Bin, and Wheein always ends up sleeping on their old and uncomfortable couch.  
Her mother always promises they will change that ugly couch soon, but every year that thing is still there, ready for her, _mocking her,_ and no one seems to mind. Wheein tries not to.  
On top of that Da-Bin, that dislikes her intensely for no apparent reason, watches TV late in the living room every time Wheein stays at their home, making impossible for her to rest; her mother probably knows that she and Da-Bin don't mix, but never discussed it, and Wheein hasn’t introduced the topic.  
What's for, after all? She lives in Seoul now and has no intention to come back there, in that house least of all.  
Her childhood home, the pink house on two floors with the garden where she used to play with Ggomo, has been sold, and now her place in Jeonju no longer exists. Her fractured family is gone, and her mother just found herself a new one. That’s ok though, her mother deserves it after all the sacrifices she made for her, and Wheein is not going to complain about stupid things like couch or bedroom.  
Everything is okay, _in balance_ , she is totally fine; just, she doesn’t like the Christmas period, but can survive. After all, this year she has the perfect excuse to avoid that awful couch and Doctor Lee’s daughter.  
Her grandma recently sold her house to move into a retirement home, and Wheein has to find a new place within December, possibly before Christmas.  
Easier said than done, sadly.  
Rental ads are scant, because well, _it’s almost Christmas_ and people are on vacation, and she is having a hard time finding a room; apparently it's some rule of life that all kinds of places are available except one that would suit you. Seoul is huge, beautiful, and expensive as hell.  
Her salary isn't very high, secretary jobs are not famous for good pays, and she can't afford to rent an entire apartment as Byulyi did: just a small room would be enough, but it seems impossible to find something acceptable and livable. In other words, it's a big _mess_.  
Wheein rests her head against the bus window, trying to steady her tired brain just because panic won't help her in any way. She can’t freak out now as she is about to visit the last apartment on the list, there is plenty of time for that _later_ , at dinner with Byulyi for example.  
Yes, that’s sounds good _._  
Eventually, the bus comes to her stop and she gets off, casting a glance at the area around her; it’s unfamiliar but lovely, apparently calm. She starts to trot slowly toward the designated address, searching the correct street a little relieved. At last, it seems a newly renovated area, with plenty of new tall buildings, nothing to do with the ghetto where she went that morning for visit apartment n°4.  
She has a good feeling about this. Or maybe it’s just the despair speaking and tricking her, who knows.  
However, Wheein presses the buzzer with a tiny hope flowering within her, a big plastered smile on her face. She watches as the door open, seeing a skinny woman open the door; she has long brown hair and tiny black eyes, expertly made up.  
“Hello, are you…hm…Jung Wheein maybe?” the woman asks, offering a little smile and Wheein nods, remembering how to speak after a few seconds “Yes! I’m Wheein”  
“I’m Solar, nice to meet you” the woman replies and moves aside to let her into the apartment building, closing the front door softly behind them, “The building has no elevator, but the apartment is on the first floor, don’t worry”  
They climb the stairs in silence, their footfalls muffled by the tiny red carpet that decorates the stairs; everything is quiet, no crying babies or drunken louts dozing off on the steps; she has been traumatized by apartment n°4, seriously.   
“Here we are”, Solar says, and opens the door to an apartment; Wheein takes a few steps forward to the white small hallway in front of her and quickly takes off her boots. The house, she immediately notes, is warm and smells good, something like apricot and mint; the exact opposite of the smell of sewage of the apartment n°1.  
They enter in a cozy room, not too big not too small, that acts as a living room, kitchen and dining room: the surrounding is clean, tidy, and inviting.  
“The building was completely renovated in 2007, but the house is not really new, doesn't have AC or dishwasher. But we have a washing machine though, and Wi-fi” Solar says in a gentle tone “Feel free to look around Wheein. I'll make some tea”  
“Oh, nice” Wheein replies absentmindedly, her eyes traveling over every inch of the room. It’s quite nice, even better than she expected: there is a small red sofa against one wall, a television set, and an old bookcase full of CDs in a corner. Wheein can already imagine herself there, stretched on the comfortable couch and watching tv after work.  
“To the right, there are the bathroom and the two bedrooms. And the pantry, but it’s very small” Solar adds without looking at her and grabs two cups from the cupboard over the stove “The free room is the first, the door is open anyway. Go ahead and take a look”  
Wheein doesn't need to be told twice, she passes through the room and enters in no time in the first bedroom; there's no bed, the ad said something about the lack of furniture now that she thinks of it, but the tall white wardrobe and the small wooden night table seem pretty good and new. The only window is not big, but enough, the light breaks violently through the curtains and brightens up the room.

It’s _perfect_.

Wheein quickly returns to the living room without exploring the bathroom or the pantry, her decision already taken; Solar is pouring the tea, humming an unknown song, her cascading hair concealing her face.  
“I take it!” Wheein states, nervousness cracking in her voice “I mean, I really like this house. I would like to live here! You probably already received requests for the room, but please consider me as your possible housemate...I have a job! And…I’m a silent type, I think it’s a good thing…No? Maybe? I can’t cook though”  
Solar stares at her a little surprised and opens her mouth as if to say something, but then starts to laugh, and Wheein feels her anxiety rising, suddenly conscious of having stutter a little bit. She must have seemed like a disaster, but she can't lose this opportunity, this room. She can do better than that.  
“Actually,  you’re the first person to visit the apartment. I placed the ad yesterday and five minutes later you called”, Solar places two cups of tea and a sugar bowl on the little table near the cooker “Here, take a seat, let’s speak”  
Wheein reaches quickly the chair, trying to think about something positive to say about herself. Technically, she never had a roommate, but she spent most of her time at Byulyi’s house, cooking and cleaning from time to time and Byulyi never complained about her skills.  
 “You seem like a nice girl Wheein, but I have to ask you some questions” Solar tells her kindly, and Wheein nods, ready for anything.  
“I have a steady job” she lets out again, voice firm, “A friend of mine can vouch for me, totally. I repute me a responsible girl and…”  
“I trust you, don’t worry about it. I just would love to find out more about you. Who are you, what do you do…nothing too personal, I just want to know you a bit. Or Hyegi will kill me for bringing in a total stranger”  
“…Who?” Wheein asks, a bit lost.  
“Your future housemate” Solar takes a sip of tea, and continues softly “she went home for the holidays, so I’m searching a person who can take my place here. I am the one who leaves the house”  
“Oh…Why?” Wheein asks and tries to bite her tongue, but the next question spills out anyway “is there something wrong with the apartment?”  
Solar chuckles a little and shakes her head.  
“Oh no, nothing it’s wrong. I’m leaving because I’m getting married” she says, holding out her left hand and showing her diamond ring “I can't force my future husband to live with me and my housemate, don't you think?”  
Wheein’s eyes round up, wide in surprise, her mouth shaping itself into a large 'O'. The woman seems amused, happy, and honestly, why shouldn't she?, she found her soulmate and they'll get married, start a family and all the rest.  
A small part of her brain, that little nasty voice in the back of her head, reminds her that some people are born more fortunate than others, that love is truly possible, but not for her.  
Solar’s engagement ring is pretty, with a thick gold band and a small sparkling diamond, and hides perfectly the name tattooed under it; what is certain is that under it there are no plasters and blood.  
Wheein's heart thuds at the sudden awful thought, but she tries to shake it off; she swallows quickly the sudden spasm of nausea and makes a feeble attempt to smile; her petty envy of the happiness of a stranger is just pathetic. She is there for a specific reason, goddammit.  
“Congratulation” she finds herself saying, her tone strangely light “Are you two getting married soon?”  
“Oh no, not yet, we still don't have a wedding date set. We're moving in together for now”, Solar’s smile shines on her face, making her look a lot younger than she probably is, “Anyway, my roommate is also a good friend, kind and thoughtful, but she will make my life a living hell if I rent my room to a creepy stranger. But you seem nice, tell me about yourself! I hope we can become friends, I'll probably visit often”  
Wheein smiles despite herself, a real smile this time, and tries to relax on the chair, finally drinking her hot tea. She is a lot of things, but not a creepy person. She has improved considerably over the years and knows how to make friends.  
She _can_ do this.

 

She made it.  
Somehow, she really made it.  
Solar, the pretty woman, _her savior_ , whichever way Wheein decides to call her depending on the occasion, gave her the keys of her new apartment a couple of days before Christmas. Wheein moved in immediately, and her granny, very impatient to see her finally out of the house probably, gave her money for the taxi as a Christmas present.  
She accepted it and just took the bus, her luggage was not really that heavy, and used that money for buying some things for the house and a bed, a big wooden bed; she spent Christmas Eve mounting it, sending some pics to Byulyi in the process. It turned out that she was good at assembling things, fortunately.  
She also started putting things in the drawers and cupboards, without daring to move anything belonging to her housemate.  
She knows nothing about this girl, Solar didn’t tell her much; apparently, they are the same age and share a passion for music, nothing else. Wheein hopes to get along with her, she has no intention of finding a new house and moving out again.  
She must make a good first impression, starting out on the right foot, and everything will be just alright; she has a good feeling about it anyway, Solar’s friends must be kind, right?  
At first, Wheein imagined a thousand different scenarios, hundred kinds of speech to introduce herself to this girl, but her mysterious housemate was not coming back from her vacancy, and slowly she stopped thinking about it; having the entire house all to herself was quite good after all. She’s kind of getting used to being alone, and that night, when she collapsed on the couch half-drunk, the thought of her housemate hadn't even occurred to her.  
 _What a mistake._  
The lights go on without any warning, and Wheein groans, confused and a bit annoyed. She has a huge headache and her bones feel hollow, she is not ready to get up yet; Wheein just wants to sleep five more minutes, maybe ten, and avoids her hangover at least until lunch. God, she has to stop getting drunk with Seulgi every time she and Joohyun fight, or her liver will not last much longer.  
“Oh, I thought Unnie rented you a room, not the couch”  
Wheein’s eyes pop open wide to those words, a vague feeling of panic wakes her up instantly.  
 _Oh no._  
 _No no no no no._  
Wheein swallows, perfectly aware of her current appearance, makeup all smudged and her clothes a mess, but decides to sit up slowly, her temples buzzing with the effects of the hangover and nausea in her throat. She shoots a look at the door, her eyes burning.  
Near the switch, there is a woman, a beautiful woman, all dressed up and made up, a big suitcase next to her; she smiles to her as she takes off her coat and gloves, unwinding her cashmere red scarf from her neck with quick movements, pulling her long black hair free.  
Wheein unconsciously holds her breath, studying the girl in silence, like a _creepy stranger_ ; this woman is beautiful, truly gorgeous, and definitely looks older than 26 years old, more mature and sophisticated than her.  
They're _nothing alike,_ and something inside Wheein shudders; this person screams elegance and grace in every gesture, even her voice is sultry and sweet, while she is just a sloppy drunk mess.  
She feels the urge to cry, because _wow, she must look very pathetic,_ and pitiful; Wheein hopes she doesn't smell too much like alcohol.  
She wants to say something, anything, but then the girl smiles again and her heart skips a beat and her mouth goes very dry.  
God, she can't afford to have mush brain at this moment.  
“I was kidding, I’m sorry” the goddess says, approaching her graciously, and Wheein watches her while panicking internally “You can sleep on the couch whenever you want. I'm sorry to wake you up so abruptly”  
She seems a little worried about her mutism and Wheein finally, _finally,_ puts herself together and jumps up from the couch. She feels weak, dizzy, like her heart is about to stop.  
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I just…You caught me by surprise, that’s all. I…I fell asleep here, but of course Solar gave me her room. I mean, my room. I live here now, and…”  
“Oh my, breath girl! Breath!”, the woman laughs lightly, and Wheein thinks it might just be the most beautiful sound she ever heard. She barely nods, and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly.  
She must have made a great impression, _really_.  
But she can do better, she has to.  
“Let's start over again, okay?” Wheein manages to say, meeting the woman's cat eye and stretching her hand “I’m Jung Wheein. Your new housemate. I usually sleep in nice pajamas in my room. Nice to meet you”  
The woman grins, reaching out to shake her hand; her nails are dangerously long and sharp, but her skin is smooth like velvet, and warm. Wheein hopes the girl didn’t notice the slight tremor in her hand.  
“Nice to meet you Jung Wheein. I usually don’t come back home at 6 am. Please treat me well. I’m Hyejin, Ahn Hyejin, your housemate from now”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept my promise, right? Hyejin and Yongsun in the same chapter, and Wheein met both. Finally, the highlight of the story can begin, I'm really excited. I hope you will like how their relationship will develop, in sickness and in health *ops*  
> About the Moonsun (please remember, it's the side pair, this fic is focused on Wheein and Hwasa), well, Byulyi right now is in England, and Wheein  ̶s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ doesn't know Yongsun's name....it's a bit complicated, but they will meet, I promise. Be patient.  ̶t̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶a̶l̶w̶a̶y̶s̶ ̶t̶i̶m̶e̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶n̶g̶s̶t̶,̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶r̶y̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶  
> Thank you for all your comments, they make me really happy! They encourage me to write more :)   
> For any question  (I don't do spoilers sorry), you can find me on curiouscat https://curiouscat.me/himecchin   
> Also, I'm so sorry it took me so long to publish this chapter, summer makes me lazy, really lazy, and I also traveled a bit. Tomorrow, I'm going to The Netherlands so...probably I'm going to write a bit of the next chapter at the airport ^^;
> 
> Bye <3


	8. The day she met her (Act. 2)

_“Nice to meet you Jung Wheein. I usually don’t come back home at 6 am. Please treat me well. I’m Hyejin, Ahn Hyejin, your housemate from now”_

Time slips away and stops at the same moment to those words, to that name.  
Wheein blinks, twice, fast.  
The girl in front of her is still smiling, her aura bright and powerful, but Wheein’s eyes see only blackness.  
She probably misheard _right?_ she must have misheard. For sure.  
Her heartbeats slow as she tries to speak again, but nothing comes out. Panic is strange, familiar but unfamiliar, it dries your mouth, lungs and every cell in the brain all of a sudden and Wheein ends up closing her eyes, defeated.  
It's been years since her first panic attack, but the sensation is always the same, the same suffocating knot; it feels like falling to the void, right into the darkness.  
“Are you all right?”, the beautiful brunette asks, there is a hint of worry in her light tone, but Wheein can’t articulate an answer, “don't tell me you have my name on your skin, please!” she jokes.  
Wheein suppresses a whimper, but a wave of nausea, the sour bile, rises in her throat and scorches her mouth without warning.  
She gulps, the question echoing in her mind.

_Yes, I have it._  
_Yes yes yes yes._  
_A thousand times yes._

“Wheein?”  
She swallows again, reopening her eyes; is the light always been so dazzling? It’s too white, too confusing.  
Hyejin is staring at her, face all serious, like she is thinking carefully about the implications of her words, and something finally snaps in Wheein’s mind. She can’t screw up, not with her future housemate, not _now_.  
“I…I’m sorry! I kinda spaced out. I drank a lot yesterday” she manages to say, hearing something odd in her own tone, “I'm just a little bit groggy…sorry. I’m fine!”  
“No problem”, Hyejin doesn’t seem annoyed, even if she'd have every right to be, but Wheein feels so ashamed of herself, of her current state, that she would like to cry.  
Fortune never smiles on her, in more ways than one.  
Her Hyejin’s name burns under her silver ring, Wheein’s heart aches and silently cries out in fear. Her thoughts return to Park Hyejin, the slightly plump girl who sent her into panic almost ten years ago, and she desperately clings to it; she overreacted that day, and felt stupid about it for a long time because she shouldn’t have freaked out about a random girl.  
She should have come to terms with this already, “Hyejin” is a very common name in South Korea, what are the chances that her housemate is actually the person who broke their bond?  
Zero.  
Infinitesimal.  
0,001%  
And even if she is the one, the one who actually cut the thread of their fate, there's no way of knowing it.  
So, she can’t screw up.  
“You indeed space out a lot” Hyejin says with a giggle, distracting Wheein from her thoughts, “Why don't we postpone our talk until later? You need some sleep, and I need a hot shower!”  
Wheein nods, attempting to smile. At last, Hyejin doesn't suspect anything; she played this very smart, pretending to be under the influence of alcohol…she was a bit tipsy at first, by now she's completely sobered up though.  
“We can have lunch together later, maybe” the woman adds, putting something into the fridge “this area is full of good restaurants, I’ll show you!”  
“Sure”  
“It's settled then! See you later!”  
Wheein watches intently as the girl takes the suitcase to her room and disappears from her view, and only then she allows herself a sigh of relief.  
Her first instinct is to run, run as fast and as far as she can, because the situation is ironic and paradoxical: an entire life dedicated to avoiding every "Hyejin" in a radius of about 1000 km, and now she winds up living with a beautiful girl named...Hyejin.  
Anyway, she literally can’t run away; she already signed the contract and, above all, adores this house, the area is well served by public transport and quiet. Hyejin too, besides being gorgeous, seems nice and understanding.  
She reaches the bedroom quickly and lets herself fall on the bed without turning on the light, her head heavy. She would like to call Byul but probably, considering the time difference, the girl is already asleep. She could call Seulgi, but there's no need, the panic has passed for now. There's nothing to be scared of, anyway. She can’t be afraid of a name, of what it represents, because a name is just a name and means nothing.  
She is no longer a child.  
“Ahn Hyejin” she whispers to nobody, savoring the sound of the word in her mouth for a moment, “There's no way you’re my Hyejin, right?”  
Her only answer is silence.

  
Sun is already high when Wheein reopens her eyes; the light already filters through the window and warms the room, but not enough to wake her up. Instead, she is being awakened by the sweetest song she had ever heard.  
Someone is singing without music, softly and lightly, with palpable happiness; the song is an old melody, a nostalgic rhythm heard somewhere, that belongs to old memories and warms hearts. The smooth and smoky voice of Hyejin suits the song perfectly, and the ease with which she sings truly impresses Wheein: Solar didn’t lie, they both share a passion for music.  
She drags herself up to a sitting position, her eyes searching frantically the phone; she has absolutely no idea what time is, the alarm clock didn't go off probably because her phone is dead, but she hopes she didn’t miss lunchtime. That would be the worst.  
She manages to get up and clean herself up a little with a wet-nap, she still can feel the makeup on her face, the awful sensation of dried mascara on her eyelashes, and applies some fresh makeup.  
She would like to go to the bathroom, bathe in the hot water and then get dressed, but she has no time for it: judging by the light, she is late. Quickly she changes into fresh clothes and puts some perfume on her neck; the shower is postponed, but she can’t smell of “ _drunken night gone bad_ _because your friend is an idiot”,_ right?  
After one last look in the mirror, she finally decides she looked presentable and leaves her bedroom. Hesitant, she steps into the other room, words of apology already spilling from her lips, but she stops, surprised.  
For a moment, a long moment, the scene in front of her is almost surreal: Hyejin is cooking, chopping carrots if Wheein’s not mistaken, totally immersed in her actions and in her song, in a yellow ill-fitting apron.  
It's warm in the kitchen, Wheein can see a big pot on the stovetop and some food on the table ready to be eaten: the smell of genuine food hits her immediately and her stomach growls, hungry; when was the last time she ate some homemade food? She can’t recall.  
Discreetly, she looks closely at Hyejin, enchanted, asking herself how can be a girl in an old apron look so beautiful and charming (and so skilled with knives).   
It's _crazy_ how much Ahn Hyejin is beautiful to Wheein’s eyes, with her tan skin and her long black hair; the first thing she thought yesterday after all, when she saw her for the first time, was how pretty she looked. Her heart probably skipped a beat at her sight and Wheein can’t deny it, but why would she? probably no one could remain indifferent to Hyejin’s beauty. Hyejin has that kind of beauty which enchants, in her opinion, that stays etched in memory.  
Her housemate has still her back to her, unaware of being carefully watched, but Wheein can catch a glimpse of her profile: her face is bare of makeup, and yet she manages to look gorgeous. Maybe, without the dark and strong eyeshadow, Hyejin looks younger, more innocent and approachable, but still out of her league.  
She would like to envy her for her magnetic aura, for her charm, but she can’t; it’s almost like she's been bewitched by Hyejin from the very moment she laid eyes on her and now all she can do is admire her.  
Something deep inside her, a tiny but steady voice, senses danger in it, but Wheein ignores everything. She is not falling in _love_ , she is not that naive, hers it's just a sincere admiration. And Hyejin only said 20 words to her, probably.  
Nice.  
She gives a little cough to attract Hyejin's attention, and the girl whirls on her immediately, the long knife gleaming in her left hand.  
“Oh, you’re awake!” Hyejin smiles, a big charming smile, and Wheein can feel butterflies twirling in her stomach, just like in the movies. Oh, how much she would love to envy her.  
“I hope you don't mind, I sort of cooked our lunch!”, Hyejin says as she puts a pot of fresh vegetables on the table, “My mom gave me a huge package of food…I just heated some dishes up for us! I swear my mom is a great cook, and all the vegetables are from our garden, all the food is super healthy”  
“Oh. That’s nice” she stammers, not knowing exactly what to do to help her; Hyejin seems to have everything under control, dancing between stove and table, so she just sits down, thinking about a good way to break the ice. Humor, maybe? But she is not a humorous person, Byulyi is the fun one. Maybe she could recycle a good joke and…  
“It’s just home cooking, don’t expect too much!” Hyejin interrupts her poor attempts to recall a joke, sitting in front of her slowly, the yellow apron still on, “Enjoy your meal!”  
“Uh…thank you. You too”  
They start eating in silence, a strangely comfortable silence; Wheein only takes small portions at first, but the food turns out to be remarkably delicious and she ends up refilling her plate pretty fast.  
Hyejin chuckles, amused “I see you like it!”  
“It's all delicious” she replies, her cheeks red for embarrassment “Thanks for cooking”  
“No problem! I am relieved to see that you're enjoying it. I didn't feel like going out today, it was raining hard a few hours ago”  
“You don’t like the rain?”  
“Not really. I’m more of a summer person”  
Wheein hums, chewing slowly. They barely know each other, but Wheein can already sense the difference between them. Hyejin is positive, elegant, her smiles are the most beautiful thing in the world, Hyejin _shines_ in her own light.  
She is different from her, undeniably different: her experiences made her different, her _condition_ made her _different_.  
Automatically she looks down, and her eyes are drawn to Hyejin’s lovely hands just like bees to honey; her gaze lingers on the platinum ring on her left hand, and the mere sight of it brings an immediate spasm to her stomach.  
They couldn't be any more different.  
“I thought your name was Yeji” she says, out of nowhere, a bitter taste in the mouth “I hope my reaction wasn't too rude, earlier. I was in a daze…sorry”  
“Stop apologizing, that's fine! But didn't you read your contract? There must be my name, somewhere, no?”  
Wheein shakes her head, embarrassed.  
The lease, of course! She didn't even read it, eager to get the room and solve all her problems.  
“I didn’t. I…I misunderstood Solar, and I was convinced that your name was Yeji. I’m sorry”  
“Unnie told you my name?!”  
“Yes, why?"  
“My name! She didn't tell me anything, just that you were pretty and adorable, that’s all!”  
“W…what?! Why?”  
“She left me hanging for a while. I’ll bet she enjoyed watching me die from anticipation”  
Wheein doesn’t respond, opening and closing her mouth, feeling awkward, gawky and gangly all over again.  
What should she say? _Pretty and adorable_? _Her?_  
“Hm…Can I ask…I mean… Where have you been during the Christmas period?” she dares to ask, attempting to change the conversation “You've been gone a long time…”  
“Ah! I visited my parents in Jeonju, nothing incredible. It wasn't a big deal, I can work from home sometimes…”  
“Wait, Jeonju?”  
“Yeah, Jeonju. It’s my hometown. I hadn’t been home for a while, so my parents asked me to postpone my departure. That’s why I only come back this morning! January is very cold in Seoul, Jeonju is consistently warmer than here"  
Wheein swallows a bite, nodding.  
Knowing that they _actually_ have something in common is strange, almost unbelievable for her brain; they have probably walked in the same places, played in the same playgrounds, maybe they also attended the same elementary school, who knows?  
Wheein's about to say that aloud, out of curiosity, ready to establish a point of contact, but stops in time, words stuck in her throat like daggers.  
It's…risky.  
People talk, a lot. Her name was on everyone's lips, at some point, Wheein is sure of it; what are the chances that Hyejin heard about her? Non-existent.  
That's an irrational fear, totally, Jeonju is huge, it's the fucking capital city of North Jeolla Province for God's sake.  
_But still._  
“And what do you do? For living, I mean...”  
“I’m a composer, I got a job in a recording studio” she says, casually, taking her last bite of eggs, “Sometimes, I help people to organize events, to make real extra money. Music does not always pay, it’s a very unstable world”  
“Wow. That's...amazing. You wrote something I could know?”  
“I don’t think so”, Hyejin laughs, reaching for the dessert, some honey-coated biscuits, “Are you fond of small not-famous bands?”  
Wheein laughs too, saying a softly “I might surprise you”, but obviously she doesn't know any of the names that Hyejin says to her.  
“That’s fine, don’t worry”, Hyejin states, licking the crumbs from around her perfect lips, “you will join my fan club soon”  
There was something very _scary_ in the words, despite Hyejin's playful tone, but Wheein couldn't agree more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there.  
> how's it going?   
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I'm trying to explore my writing style, with little success (sadly)  
> I'm a little down on my luck, these days, and I didn't feel like writing, I'm sorry for the wait!  
> Wheein is already falling in love with Hyejin, but still she doesn't know (Hopefully it's obvious, but Wheein is feeling some effects of the resonance already)  
> Let me know what you think (here, on [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/offkeyrhapsody), on [ CC ](https://curiouscat.me/himecchin) if you want to insult me (?)) about it.  
> See you soon!
> 
> ps: how beautiful Soar is? Wheein is fantastic, I'm falling in love with her all over again. (and the song inspired me some angst Wheesa that I'll probably never write, nice)
> 
> <3


	9. Not falling in love (Act. 1)

 

“So, how's it going, Wheenie? I miss you”

Byulyi’s voice is a little distorted by the device, but Wheein can still feel all the love in those words.

They're on a Facetime call, the first one since Byul left, and looking at her through the screen makes Wheein nostalgic and just a little sad; it's been a month since she saw her best friend, a lot happened within a short time, and Wheein wishes Byulyi was here, in Korea, with her. 

Obviously, they spend a good amount of time chatting on KakaoTalk and Instagram, writing to each other almost every day, but they're not in the same time zone anymore, which makes everything so complicated: finding a moment to finally do a video-chat seemed impossible at first, their schedules were too much different and full of plans (on Byulyi's side at last), and just the cancellation of one of Byulyi’s class made this call possible. Wheein is extremely grateful for it.

Byul’s pretty face on the screen is composed of tiny colored pixels, but Wheein has noticed immediately the dark circles around her eyes, her blonde messy hair hanging around the face.

Byul is tired, dead tired judging from her face, and still she is sacrificing her precious sleep for her, calling and asking about her day; Wheein doesn't know what she's done in her past life for deserving someone like Moon Byulyi as best friend, really.

“Everything is fine” she smiles, showing all her dimples effortlessly, “I work a lot these days. We have a deadline to make and my colleague has taken a leave of absence, but I manage well enough without her”

That’s a lie. Everyone in the office is busy and incredibly rude toward her, and Wheein would want to stay at home every fucking day; she is tired and exhausted, she curses the damn day she accepted the job, but there's no need for Byulyi to know that. Byulyi's got bigger things to worry about.

“And…how about Hyejin? Is everything going ok?”

Wheein keeps the smile on her face and nods. Byulyi’s tone is… tentative, like she doesn't want to open the topic, but she has to. Wheein understands.

It is indeed a delicate situation.

Obviously, they already tackled the subject, literally spent hours talking on the phone about the absurdity of the situation; when Wheein told Byulyi about Hyejin, almost one month ago, the surprise and the shock were still fresh in her mind. They discussed a lot about the risks of getting carried away, to deceive and delude themselves, drowning in the atrocious doubt regarding the identity of Hyejin. However, the pretty much lose-lose chance that Hyejin was Wheein's soulmate declared their debate closed after a few days.

Wheein has no illusions.

Realistically, Hyejin is way out of her league, name on her ring finger or not: Hyejin is just one of the many Hyejin in the world, and the best Wheein can hope for is become friends.

And it's working.

There is nice chemistry between them: she is strangely comfortable with Hyejin, they spend nights having long talks over dinner and watching old films. They are undeniably different, Hyejin is dynamic and lively exactly like she looked from the beginning, but soon Wheein found out that they had so much more in common than she thought.

For example, Hyejin has a passion for auteur cinema and old cinema actors: she knows a ton of uninteresting facts about old scandals and films never produced. Wheein doesn't care about thousand-year-old gossips, but Hyejin's eyes sparkle when she talks about what she loves, so Wheein lets her guide their conversations all the time.

Hyejin loves a lot of things, and that’s good. Wheein adores the sound of her enthusiastic voice, the funny little giggles that Hyejin lets out every time she speaks about Leslie Cheung or whatever actors she stans at that moment; Wheein could listen to her for hours without getting bored.

Hyejin’s voice is like a drug to her, from the very moment she heard her sing in the kitchen: luckily for her, Hyejin always hums happy little tunes while she does stuff, so Wheein can listening to her voice all the time and lets herself be lulled by it. It’s nice, gives her a sense of satisfaction.

“We get along well, don’t worry. We are just getting acquainted” she adds, but on the other side of the line Byulyi sighs, like she doesn't really believe it. Wheein frowns, not a mad frown, more of an uncertain frown “What?”

Seconds of strained silence follows, the older girl hesitates as if she is looking for the right words, biting her lips nervously. It’s a bit strange because Byulyi is a straightforward person, even if unpleasant things have to be said.

Wheein feels a little shiver go down her spine, an awful empty pressure on her heart.

“Wheein…I’m worried” Byulyi finally says, but Wheein shakes her head, trying to remain calm. She knows perfectly well where Byulyi's going with this conversation, but she refuses to listen.

She is not going to fall in love with Hyejin.

Of course, Byulyi has every right to be worried, she is her best friend for a reason, but there is no need, she is not falling in love and it'll never happen.

She's not a masochist, for God’s sake, she is a rational person or, at last, she tries to be one.

“You can relax” she affirms with an inexpressibly sweet tone, “I’m not dumb. I won't let my delusion dreams eat my brain. I'm an adult, okay? It's irresponsible to fall in love with a housemate, you know?”

“Wheein…I just don't want to see you get hurt”, Byulyi’s voice carries a hint of inevitability and Wheein doesn’t like it, doesn’t like it at all; she is intelligent enough to not fall victim to disappointments, they already have made it clear a month ago, what's changed?

“What's the problem? We've been over this and…”

“You…you frequently mention Hyejin during our calls. The way you talk about it, it doesn't even sound like you”

“What?!”

“I don't know how to say this any other way, but Wheein...you seem already infatuated by her. And I don't like it. You keep telling me how much Hyejin is beautiful or kind or…”

“Oh, stop. I’m not infatuated”, Wheein rolls her eyes defiantly, tired of this conversation already, “Hyejin is beautiful and exaggeratedly nice to me. I wanted to reassure you about her, not to make you worry. Hyejin is great, and I know you'd be thrilled about her too if you were here. I may have exaggerated a little, you’re right, but no worries, I’m totally cool with it”

The resolution is pretty great and Wheein can swear she saw Byulyi frown at her words, but she doesn’t care. She meant what she said. She sighs, a familiar war of emotions in her head; Wheein recollects briefly every compliment she said about Hyejin, all the praises, and honestly, she couldn't say she didn't mean every one of them.

Hyejin is...too good, she's authentic and beautiful, and Wheein feels lucky to live under the same roof as someone like her.

Soulmates matters have nothing to do with it.

And, most important of all, she is not falling in love with Hyejin, she is just genuinely amazed by her housemate. And Byulyi’s got this all wrong.

“Unnie, do you trust me?” she asks smoothly, attempting to sound overconfident  “Do you?”

“Of course, I just--”

“Then”, Wheein interrupts her, swallowing her uncertainty along with the saliva, “believe me when I say that I’m not that naïve. There is no danger at all, I’m not falling in love with her!”

The woman on the other line doesn’t reply for a long minute, eyes fixed on her, and Wheein feels scrutinized, checked inch by inch. Something inside her shakes, trembling. She's not lying, but something feels oddly wrong, probably because Byulyi never doubted her words before and the situation seems somehow heavy, surreal. It’s uncomfortable. She hates that damn webcam now.

“I know you are not naïve and…maybe you're right. I worry too much. But you’re my Wheeinie, I would like to protect you from everything” Byulyi finally sighs in a low, defeated tone.

Wheein feels herself softening toward her at those words, irritation disappears rapidly like dandelions into the wind: she closes her eyes, savoring Byulyi’s love wrapping all around her, and smiles happily.

She misses Byulyi’s presence tremendously and for the first time in years, she’s experiencing touch-deprivation: Byulyi’s kind touch, her affectionate taps on the back of the neck and her soft kisses, made her feel peaceful, loved and cherished. She can’t have it now and, to be honest, it hurts a little bit.

Without Byulyi, Wheein has also trouble sleeping most nights, just like when she was a little girl; she misses the sound of Byulyi's slow, rhythmic breathing next to her: even without realizing it, she learned somehow to sleep while listening to it and now she just tosses and turns in her bed until exhaustion takes over. She awakens in the mornings feeling tired already.

“I know it and I really appreciate your concern, but we're wasting our precious time talking about this endlessly, and still you didn’t tell me anything about you and London! I’m dying to know!”

“What can I say? English is fucking difficult” Byulyi whines, stretching out her arms in a dramatic pose, letting her change the subject, “there are a lot of Chinese students, but no Koreans. I’m desperate!”

Wheein laughs aloud, leading the conversation away from her life, enjoying all the little anecdotes of Byulyi with English and London, a nice lightness echoing in her heart.

They talk for hours, losing the thread of the conversation several times, and when she finally leaves her room with her stomach growling and her throat dry, Hyejin has been home for at least an hour. The younger girl is curled up on the couch in her pink pajamas, her eyes glue to her phone even though the tv is on. 

There’s a pot on the stove and a warm fire underneath it, and an incredible scent fills the air.

“Hey there” she says, and Hyejin looks up from her phone like a spring and smiles at her sweetly. Wheein’s heart does a little flip at that vision, but she can’t really blame herself; she is still not used to Hyejin’s beauty, even though they live together peacefully for a month.

“Dinner is on the stove, pumpkin porridge today!” Hyejin tells her enthusiastically, her hair falling softly around her shoulders “that’s okay?”

Wheein nods in agreement and sits too, the worn couch sinking under her weight abruptly, making a weird noise.

“What's on TV?”

“The news, I think”

Wheein hums and a comfortable silence falls between them; on the screen there is an odd butter commercial with a bad annoying tune.

It’s incredible how the thought of sharing food with Hyejin always manages to give her a calm feeling of wellbeing, an unbelievable inner peace. This new routine gives her a sense of comfort and familiarity, a sense of security.

Immediately after the commercial, a reporter appears on the screen, a microphone in his hand, ready to give news. Wheein listens absent-mindedly, getting up a couple of times to stir the soup and drink some water. When she takes a seat next to Hyejin again, the TV news report shows some images of the manifestation which has taken place in Busan that afternoon, hundreds of people walking on the streets.

Wheein freezes, casting a glance at Hyejin carefully, finding the girl totally absorbed in the report, her smartphone forgotten in her lap.

Wheein swallows hard, an annoying sense of anxiety slowly rising inside her; she knows very well the manifestation and its meaning, she saw the fliers on the subway and all around the city.

It’s a manifestation for people like her. Literally.

Some call it “The Diversity Pride” or “the Pride Parade”, but there are plenty of names for it: several hundred people march in a parade, in peace and tranquillity, defending their right to love whoever they want.

Wheein only knows the most famous names, the eastern and western activists who are fighting against discrimination towards people like her: she spies them on social media, following their speeches against social injustice and inhumanity, but she never finds the courage to follow them, in the true sense of the word.

And it’s stupid, Wheein feels stupid, because shouldn’t be natural fighting for her own rights, no? but, apparently, it wasn’t.

Being a BCE…she doesn’t want to say it the world, to her colleagues or acquaintances. She isn’t like Byulyi, her lovely kind Byulyi, who proudly shows her BCE status around the city, Wheein is nothing like her. She is…just a coward, a stupid, and the patch on her finger always makes her feel ashamed, uncomfortable.

She doesn't have to announce that to the world, what's the point in doing it? People just start to treat you differently once they know, and Wheein doesn’t love the coldness of the judgment, or worse, the pity.

She wants to be normal, God, she would give anything to be able to be normal and find a soulmate, but she can't. At last, she wants to be treated like one. 

The concept of soulmates has roots in the common human tendency since forever, people without a name on their finger or with the wrong one were discriminated over the centuries, no ifs no buts. But now, apparently, things are changing, slowly and with cautions: there are more and more people who refuse their name, their soulmate, they claim the right to love whoever they want, to do whatever they want. Alongside them, the oppressed people, those without a soulmate, march with faith, hoping to be accepted for what they are. Genetics’s not an exact science, to be fair.

 

  Wheein doesn’t know why her soulmate broke their bond in the first place and the funny thing is that neither does Hyejin: somewhere, finding solace in someone else's arms, her Hyejin doesn’t even know who Jung Wheein is.

Some people are born with more than one soulmate, but they just can’t have both; so, BCE exist. That’s simple.

All the big words mean nothing.

There are ongoing studies to establish why some people can't have a happy ending, their loved one, but there are no answers, no scientific evidence for any theory.

So, why people hate diversity that much?

Wheein doesn’t know. And she is scared. People are scary.

If on the one hand, some people are aware and in favor of the change underway, in the other not everyone accepts it: polls say that 70% of Koreans think that BCE shouldn’t got married or have kids, half of them even says that people without a soulmate are against nature, and shouldn’t be alive at all.

Some people out there just want her dead, without even know her.

It’s terrifying, the banality of evil.

On the small screen, a boy with a colored cardboard sign speaks about equity and solidarity, about love, with fervor; the patch on his finger shines, and his eyes are warm, benevolent.

“What do you think?” Wheein asks the question without even realizing it, looking away from the tv, her eyes totally concentrated on the girl sitting next to her.  
She is afraid of the answer, Wheein can’t deny it, but she has to know. It’s important for their relationship, for their friendship.    

Hyejin doesn’t meet her eyes, apparently still enraptured by the boy on tv, by his words. It’s a good thing, right?

Wheein swallows, uneasy, an annoying lump to her throat; her question hangs in the air for some other seconds, unanswered. Hyejin cannot be that type of person right? She is sweet and---

“Everyone deserves happiness” Hyejin finally says, her face very serious, a strange tension in her shoulders “Why are you asking me?”

Wheein opens her mouth, relief immediately flooding her body.

Of course, Hyejin was going to say that, how could Wheein have thought, on any level, that Hyejin might be a bad person? God.

“You think these people do not have the right to be happy?” Hyejin asks at some point, her fierce gaze locking on Wheein, and she just shudders for the intensity of those eyes. Hyejin is studying her carefully, waiting for an answer.

“No! Of course not! Everyone deserves the best!” she quickly says, to prevent any misunderstanding, “Soulmates are important, but you can’t ruin the life of an innocent person because they don’t have it! Everyone has the right to love whatever they want!”

There is a moment of awkward silence, and Wheein wonders if she's said or done something wrong, but then Hyejin smiles, a full beautiful smile with straight white teeth, and all it’s good again. She smiles back to her, feeling especially relaxed, her heart beats in that strange, happy way.

Without even knowing it, Hyejin just made her the happiest person in the world.

That night they eat slowly, and talk a lot, and laugh much, and by the time they go to sleep, a wonderful sensation accompanies her into the arms of Morpheus.

B̶u̶t̶ ̶s̶h̶e̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶f̶a̶l̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶

 

 

Two weeks of nonstop work later, Wheein can finally breathe again. All the major projects are over, thanks God, and the atmosphere in the office is more relaxed, less hectic. They get back to slower rhythms, and everything is definitively better.

Her boss has also hired a new employee, a new office secretary, and it’s Wheein’s job to teach her how everything works. Wheein doesn’t mind, this is her first experience as a mentor but she is doing well.

Jo Yuri is cute and quiet, always hiding shyly behind her bangs, and strives to learn as much as possible.

Wheein appreciates her company, even though they literally spend hours just sitting in silence reading and checking documents. Yuri is young and inexperienced, but nice, the very opposite of her former co-worker. They cooperate well.

That’s evening, Wheein gets off the bus strangely early, the reports already reviewed by her boss: he complimented her on her work, and Wheein is oddly pleased, she wants to change her clothes and celebrate her freedom with some good alcohol. She could ask Hyejin to join her, even though she'd never seen Hyejin drinking something stronger than coke, or buy her dinner maybe.

She unlocks the door and pushes it open, an imperceptible smile hovering around her lips, but she freezes immediately on the door.

On the couch, there is Hyejin, pressed underneath some big guy, her black hair spread out on the pillow. The man on top of her, athletic and tanned, has his shirt hanging off one shoulder, Wheein can see his back muscles and smooth skin.

They don’t realize her presence, clearly too busy, and Wheein just tries to leave as quietly as she can, unable to look away. It's the shock, probably.

Sure, it is. They never spoke about relationships and sexual preference, Wheein has just assumed that Hyejin was single. Wrong.

She steps up again, carefully, her hand still on the doorknob, but Hyejin chooses that exact moment to reopen her eyes, looking casually in her direction.

Wheein gasps, loudly this time, and Hyejin's eyes widen, her face twists into shock as soon as she spots Wheein.

“W-Wheein” she says, pushing the boy away, popping up from the couch and fixing her appearance in a halting manner. The man also turns towards her, his features handsome and harmonious, and moves away from the couch, mildly embarrassed.

Wheein forces a “hello” out of her mouth, finally looking away from the couple. God, it’s awkward.

“You’re back early”

“Yeah” Wheein chuckles, softly, “Sorry”

Hyejin swallows and straightens her shirt,  her face still flushed with embarrassment. It's kinda cute.

“I…I should go”, Wheein whispers, ready to feel to her room “I…”

“No!”

Wheein squeals imperceptibly, a quizzical expression on her face.

“I mean…we…me and Junyong were thinking about ordering a pizza. Wanna join us?”

Wheein doesn’t want to. Obviously not. She won't stay there, feeling like a third wheel, eating pizza, no way. But Hyejin is looking at her with sparkling big eyes, so full of expectations that Wheein freezes, suddenly aware of the entire situation.

Hyejin wants to introduce them.

The chest hurts for some odd reason.

“Sure” she manages to say, sadness pressing down on her battered heart. It’s a bad idea, Wheein knows it, but the smile that Hyejin gives her is worth every damn convulsion of her heart. She smiles too, presenting herself as “Hyejin’s friend” to Junyong,  sitting next to him during dinner. There’s a hickey on his neck, some lipstick on his shirt, but Wheein tries to ignore everything, including the terrible, deep dissatisfaction that sinks in the pit of her stomach.

She is not _falling_ in love.

But, clearly, Hyejin is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Gone for a month? No no. :)
> 
> Hey there. How are you?  
> I finally upload, are you happy? *starts throwing confetti*.  
> To be honest, I'm not satisfied, I change things at every reading because I'm a fucking perfectionist, but I need to have a little more faith in myself and update more often. God, I want to finish this story, I kinda love it, I worked on this storyline so much before publishing it here.  
> But, at the same time, I love to have reasons to procrastinate, I'm always tired these days. At this rate, this story is not going to end before 2020. I'm sorry? Please don't hate me. But I will finish it *I swear* (I'm only at the half of the story ahahah help me) 
> 
> ANYWAY.
> 
> I hope that the meaning/the condition of BCE is clearer now.  
> Recap: Wheein was born with Hyejin name on her finger, but unfortunately, Hyejin can't possibly know. Nobody knows why some people break the bond and choose one person, all the scientific studies are insufficient. I want to make this very clear because some asked me why Hyejin broke the bond with Wheein at some point, what is her justification for doing it, as if she was well aware of what she did. Well, Hyejin doesn't know, she doesn't even imagine it. But yes, there's an explanation. 
> 
> I kinda hope you liked this chapter! Yes, there will be a lot of angst soon, Wheein have to understand her feeling for Hyejin or we won't get out of here alive.  
> Oh, and remember Yuri, she is important. 
> 
> BYE.

**Author's Note:**

> 1- It's a SoulBond! AU   
> Soulbond AUs are very popular in other fandoms, and I really love them. It took me a while to decide the right ship for this story: it's a prompt that suits very well also on Wheesun, Hwabyul and Moonsun, but Wheesa won this time. I'm very soft for my two favorite maknae these days.   
> In this kind of AU, people are born with the name of their soulmate tattooed on the ring finger of their left hand, but there are exceptions to that, of course there are... :)
> 
> 2- Angst 
> 
> I'm not a sadist, but...you know, the chapters contain just a little bit of angst. So, if you want a fluff love story, this AU is not for you. Sorry.
> 
> 3- Moonsun
> 
> Very very very slight mention of Wheebyul, and Moonsun. Moonsun should be "the second pairing", the side love story, but I have not yet developed their epilogue very well. So, there could be just hints of them, or actual chapters. Who knows. 
> 
> ALSO: slow updates, sorry


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